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Ken Rand
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Bio: On Oct. 3, 1992, Ken Rand ended two-plus decades as a broadcast and print reporter and editor in Utah and Wyoming. That's when he accepted his ex-wife's invitation to move from Wyoming, where he was a grumpy, overworked newspaper editor, to West Jordan, Utah, to rejoin his family. Rand remarried his ex-wife, ending a 19-year divorce. That day, he began his career as a freelance writer in earnest. He now writes "semi-fulltime," paying for his bad habits with a part-time job shelving books for the county library. He's written more than a hundred short stories, two hundred humor columns, and a dozen books, including "The Ten Percent Solution: Self-editing for the Modern Writer" (Fairwood Press); "The Eternity Stone" (The Fiction Works); "Tales of the Lucky Nickel Saloon, Second Ave, Laramie, Wyoming, U S of A" (Yard Dog Press); and upcoming "Phoenix" (Zumaya); and "Voices of Wonder": 20 Interviews in Fantasy & Science Fiction (Wildside Press). He's written thousands of articles and does interviews for Talebones magazine.

In addition to a lot of awards for his work as a reporter, Rand won 2nd place in the Writer's of the Future contest, 3rd place in Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, Volume 2, and has received four honorable mentions in Year's Best anthologies. Rand has worked as a freelance writer, reporter, photographer, talkshow host and producer, editor, PR flack, furniture mover, temporary secretary, teacher, print and broadcast ad peddler, and announcer for sports events, daredevil shows, air shows, mudbogs, and stock car races.

He grew up in the little town of Port Chicago, Calif., which no longer exists; the Navy bought it because it was in the way of their ammo depot. Thirty-five years later, he's still pissed off at the Navy. (Yes, there is a book.) Rand has family in Washington, South Dakota, Arizona, Wisconsin, California, and Oklahoma. A hippie before he lost his hair, he lived in San Francisco in the 1960s, where he attended the first Be-In. For the fun of it he makes kaleidoscopes--he is the world's only humor kaleidoscopist. His writing and living philosophy: "Lighten up."


1. Short [4973 words]Medicine by Ken Rand [Fantasy]
2. Short [4392 words]No Wine Before Its Time by Ken Rand [Dark Fantasy/Horror]
3. Short [14251 words]The 10% Solution: Self-editing for the Modern Writer by Ken Rand [Reference/Education]
4. Long [60947 words]Dadgum Martians Invade the Lucky Nickel Saloon! by Ken Rand [Fantasy/Humor]
5. Very Short [2077 words]The Vampire Who Doted on His Chicken by Ken Rand [Fantasy/Humor]
6. Very Short [2266 words]Last Vision by Ken Rand [Horror]
7. Short [4545 words]The Problem with Mermaids by Ken Rand [Fantasy]
8. Short [20084 words]From Idea to Story in 90 Seconds: A Writer's Primer by Ken Rand [General Nonfiction]
9. Very Short [2401 words]The Waiting Game by Ken Rand [Fantasy]
10. Very Short [944 words]Robin's Egg by Ken Rand [Dark Fantasy]
  1. Long [60947 words]Dadgum Martians Invade the Lucky Nickel Saloon! by Ken Rand [Fantasy/Humor]
2. Long [59843 words]Fairy BrewHaHa at the Lucky Nickel Saloon by Ken Rand [Fantasy]
3. Short [3477 words]The Geezers by Ken Rand [Humor]
4. Very Short [2077 words]The Vampire Who Doted on His Chicken by Ken Rand [Fantasy/Humor]
5. Short [4032 words]Mr. Gibber Saves the Day by Ken Rand [Science Fiction]
6. Short [5023 words]Song of Mother Jungle by Ken Rand [Science Fiction]
7. Short [20084 words]From Idea to Story in 90 Seconds: A Writer's Primer by Ken Rand [General Nonfiction]
8. Very Short [1540 words]The Bell of San Ysobel by Ken Rand [Fantasy]
9. Short [14251 words]The 10% Solution: Self-editing for the Modern Writer by Ken Rand [Reference/Education]
10. Short [3072 words]The Eye by Ken Rand [Fantasy]

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1 Medicine [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  In a world where California has fallen into the sea and the USA is a military dictatorship, the Black Hills remains sacred to Indians who are building a mountain-sized monument to their great war chief Crazy Horse. One task remains to complete the project and fulfill the promise Crazy Horse made 150 years before to resurrect his people. An old friend summons a reporter to see for himself--and to participate in ancient medicine that might move the world. 2008

Words: 4973 - Reading Time: 14-19 min.
Category: Fantasy
1 Reader Ratings:
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List Price:  $0.65     $0.55
You Pay:  $0.55     $0.47
You Save:  15.38%     27.69%

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2 No Wine Before Its Time [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  Petty thief Jim Crowell has his eye on the prize: marrying into a wealthy family. But to impress the parents of the target air-headed deb and seal the deal, he needs a grubstake. The Hans Schuller winery in Napa Valley could be a good score. Old man Schuller has this bottle that he says is the most valuable bottle in the world. The old vintner gives Jim a taste--just a taste. But that's all it takes for Jim's life to change forever. 2008

Words: 4392 - Reading Time: 12-17 min.
Category: Dark Fantasy
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List Price:  $0.59     $0.50
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You Save:  15.25%     27.12%

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3 The 10% Solution: Self-editing for the Modern Writer [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  A short, quick, easy-to-use handbook to help new and advanced writers of fiction and nonfiction, any genre or length, write better. Writers will see quantifiable results instantly. 1998

Words: 14251 - Reading Time: 40-57 min.
Category: Reference
60 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $1.59     $1.35

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4 Dadgum Martians Invade the Lucky Nickel Saloon! [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  The Lucky Nickel Saloon, Second Ave, Laramie, Wyoming Territory, U-S-of-A has been invaded by dadgum Martians! Only these dadgum Martians don't look like your regular Martians. No sir, they look like Earth chickens. Only these chickens have lips. And as everbody knows, chickens with lips lisp. Or is that Sheriff Ben Dover I'm thinking of? Never mind. Unlessen we want to be Tooken Over, us regulars got ourselves a saloon to save! 2006

Words: 60947 - Reading Time: 174-243 min.
Category: Fantasy
6 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $6.25     $5.31

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5 The Vampire Who Doted on His Chicken [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  Us regulars at the Lucky Nickel Saloon, Second Ave, Laramie, Wyoming, U S of A are not surprised to see a stranger walk in. Happens now and again. But this stranger is stranger than most. Turns out, he's foreign royalty, name of Count Wrekala or something from Roominie or one of them Europe places. Turns out, he used to dote on sipping folk's blood, but he reformed and now he dotes on chicken blood. Except there's a snowstorm afoot and we ain't had us no victuals in a week, let along chickens. Y... more info>> 2006

Words: 2077 - Reading Time: 5-8 min.
Category: Fantasy
11 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.49     $0.42

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6 From Idea to Story in 90 Seconds: A Writer's Primer [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  In plain, unambiguous prose, writers will learn where all writers from Shakespeare to J.K. Rowling get story ideas. Theory is married to practice as writers learn how to generate compelling--salable--story ideas instantly, repeatedly and effortlessly in any circumstances. Time needed: less than 90 seconds. Equipment needed: not even a pencil! Designed primarily for new writers of genre (plot-driven) short fiction, the notions presented here may also benefit advanced writers, writers of literary ... more info>> 2005

Words: 20084 - Reading Time: 57-80 min.
Category: General Nonfiction
8 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $2.15     $1.83

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7 Last Vision [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  Raymond Johnson has horrible visions. From childhood, he's seen the world end--on a football field, with demons devouring his team and the fans and--everything. Those morbid visions haunt every quarter of his life, and by halftime, his quest is to avoid dying and seeing what happens in the fourth quarter. But nobody lives forever. 2008

Words: 2266 - Reading Time: 6-9 min.
Category: Horror
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List Price:  $0.49     $0.42
You Pay:  $0.42     $0.36
You Save:  14.29%     26.53%

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8 Robin's Egg [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  Robin's john is a lousy lover, but he paid for the night, so it's okay. It's good business to chat after. Turns out the gent is a wizard. Not a magician; a wizard. Creates reality, he says, not illusion. Shows her this "philosopher's stone" thing he ripped off from "the Guild," which is like the mob, only they use magic, not guns. They're after him. There's this knock at the door... 2000

Words: 944 - Reading Time: 2-3 min.
Category: Dark Fantasy
23 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.49     $0.42

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9 The Problem with Mermaids [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  The regulars at the Lucky Nickel Saloon, Laramie, Wyoming, U S of A, are surprised when Tom Murphy brings a barrel into the saloon, filled with mermaid. They're even more surprised to find out Tom and the mermaid are in love. The circus is in town and the mermaid's pappy arrives, toting a shotgun. Is there a preacher--a sober one--in the house? 1999

Words: 4545 - Reading Time: 12-18 min.
Category: Fantasy
27 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.59     $0.50

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10 The Waiting Game [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  It's the regular Saturday night poker game in Heaven--Adam, Mary, Moses, Pete, and Gabe. And Jesus. Just a friendly game, to pass eternity. But today, Jesus is late. He's down on earth, again. Walkabout, his hobby. A shot rings out... 1999

Words: 2401 - Reading Time: 6-9 min.
Category: Fantasy
14 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.49     $0.42

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11 The Nine Billion Names of Arthur C. Clarke [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  Noted futurist Arthur C. Clarke penned a number of ground-breaking works in science fiction. One such work was 1967's "The Nine Billion Names of God". In this humorous short story, Ken Rand has a bit of fun with Clarke's original concept in a charming send-up. Notes Rand, "Among my most prized possessions are letters from Sir Arthur commenting (favorably) on the story before and after it was printed." 1996

Words: 526 - Reading Time: 1-2 min.
Category: Science Fiction
15 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.49     $0.42

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12 Read Directions Carefully [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  Your basic invisibility potion isn't illegal; you can get it on the street from any wizard. But beware; some wizards aren't as competent as others. 1997

Words: 216 - Reading Time: 0-0 min.
Category: Fantasy
30 Reader Ratings:
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13 Fairy BrewHaHa at the Lucky Nickel Saloon [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  Us regulars at the Lucky Nickel Saloon, Second Avenue, Laramie, Wyoming Territory, US of A, are shocked to hear from Mick, the Irish barkeep, that his mortgage is due tomorrow. Bankruptcy looms, dire straits for certain sure, as we-all're broke and none of us can get credit nowheres else. Sudden-like, a gang of fairies invades town. They're intent of robbing the circus, just arrived in town for a show, of payroll gold. But before the robbery, said bandits intend to get drunk on Fairy BrewHaHa, c... more info>> 2005

Words: 59843 - Reading Time: 170-239 min.
Category: Fantasy
5 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $6.15     $5.23

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14 Phoenix [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  Ann Devlin is pregnant. As she is about to break the news to her husband, colony planet Administrator Martin Devlin, a bomb explodes in the colony's main city. Revolution. Ann and Martin flee into the blistering Phoenix desert, a violent mob relentlessly chases them. To elude the mob, and to survive in the barren, hostile desert, sacrifices will be made. Among them: sanity. 2006

Words: 5288 - Reading Time: 15-21 min.
Category: Science Fiction
6 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.69     $0.59

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15 Mr. Gibber Saves the Day [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  Us regulars at the Lucky Nickel Saloon, Second Ave, Laramie, Wyoming Territory, US of A are distressed to hear the saloon faces imminent foreclosure, right on Halloween Eve. We all got to come up with a solution quick on account of we can't get us credit nowheres else. In comes Sam Something, a back-east dude with a foreign gent in tow. Underneath his bald and foreign dome lies a talent that might save the day. Place yer bets. 2006

Words: 4032 - Reading Time: 11-16 min.
Category: Science Fiction
12 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.55     $0.47

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16 Scratch, at the Door [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  Through the creaking front door of the Seashell Inn, citizens of Burning Stump gather regularly to sip their favorite beverages--boojjnut beer for innkeeper Scratch, yak milk for Doc Tay the inventor, buckberry juice for doormaker Thadius McNatt, herbal tea for Constable Jack Ratchett. One day, through circumstances as bizarre as the village denizens, the door stops squeaking. And beyond the door--well, you'll just have to take a peek for yourself. 1996

Words: 7369 - Reading Time: 21-29 min.
Category: Fantasy
8 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.89     $0.76

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17 Bridge Over Troubled Waters [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  Charon has enjoyed his job ferrying dead folk on his boat across the River Styx for thousands of years. But this trip, he senses something wrong. Eavesdropping on chatty, irreverent deceased rowers, he learns that there is more than one way to cross a river--and that thereā€˜s a first time for everything. 1996

Words: 1651 - Reading Time: 4-6 min.
Category: Fantasy
16 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.49     $0.42

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18 A Spider Poor Cowboy Rapt and Wide Lemon [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  A guy walks into the Lucky Nickel Saloon, Second Ave, Laramie, Wyoming, in need of a drink because he'd been kilt. He can't hold his liquor because he's got this .45 caliber-sized hole in him. He wants to haunt the place, but the regulars say no, as 'twould scare away paying customers. A Hindoo ceremony might answer. 2000

Words: 3604 - Reading Time: 10-14 min.
Category: Fantasy
12 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.55     $0.47

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19 As We Know It [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  At the Gathering, held every 1,312 years, the last six humans in the universe exchange gifts. For the last few million years, the gifts have grown hackneyed, uninspired, and boring. But not this time. Maurim's gift promises the human remnant a new beginning, while Jarrin's gift promises an end. 1998

Words: 5145 - Reading Time: 14-20 min.
Category: Science Fiction
33 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.65     $0.55

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20 Song of Mother Jungle [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  Fast Climber captures a pinkman who calls itself "Lieutenant." Fast Climber memorizes its song. He wants to teach it, and let it go, so it can sing to its fellows to leave Mother Jungle and go back to the sky where it came from. The pinkman listens, but does it hear? 1997

Words: 5023 - Reading Time: 14-20 min.
Category: Science Fiction
13 Reader Ratings:
Great Good OK Poor
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You Pay:  $0.65     $0.55

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21 Crossing [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  Everybody knows you can't transmit anything living between planets and habitats--just dead, inert matter. A secret agent gets killed in the rebel-infested Beltway and his body is 'mitted to Earthome. He arrives alive. He knows why, and both the government and the rebels want to know too. 1999

Words: 6477 - Reading Time: 18-25 min.
Category: Science Fiction
65 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.79     $0.67

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22 Letting Go [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  An uncharted rock damages an oreship in the Yamaguchi mining system. With nav systems down, it'll hit atmosphere in six hours. Three people aboard; escape pods for two. Capt. Cater must go down with his ship, not because it's an old tradition, but because Marion is in love with Gregory. Carter still loves Marion, but he accepts reality. He's ready to sacrifice his life, to let her go. He thinks. 1998

Words: 784 - Reading Time: 2-3 min.
Category: Science Fiction
17 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.49     $0.42

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23 Imagine That [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  Dr. Tya Prosim, the Beniyan official studying the only living human on Earth, pleads with huis superiors to continue his research grant. But the human female (humans are of two sexes!) appears mad, talking in her cage to a nonexistent, long dead mate. Meanwhile, the First Counselor wants to retire to the small island humans called England. Thus, it seems, the human must be disposed of. 2000

Words: 1398 - Reading Time: 3-5 min.
Category: Science Fiction
23 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.49     $0.42

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24 The Golems of Laramie County [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  Horace Weybeck III tells folks at the Wyoming State Mental Hospital that he ain't crazy, that he's really Deputy Sheriff of Laramie County, that he lives in a magical place called Peaceful Valley--and that he's 142 years old. Our reality, Bix says, ain't real. His is. It's magic that took his home from him. They say you can't go home again? Magic is based on love, and if you love dire enough--well, just maybe you can. 2005

Words: 52156 - Reading Time: 149-208 min.
Category: Fantasy
6 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $5.39     $4.58

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25 The Henry and the Martha [MultiFormat]
by Ken Rand
  Aliens inhabit an Earth where the last two humans, the Henry and the Martha, are star attractions in a zoo. Martha has been murdered in their cage by an insane Henry, and the exhibit caretakers, A-nan and E-gar, must find out why--and find a way to placate angry zoo fans--or be Disposed. 2005

Words: 2917 - Reading Time: 8-11 min.
Category: Science Fiction
14 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.49     $0.42

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