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Lawrence M. Schoen
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Bio: Lawrence M. Schoen holds a Ph.D. in cognitive psychology, with a special focus in psycholinguistics. He spent ten years as a college professor, and has done extensive research in the areas of human memory and language. His background in the study of the behavior and the mind provide a principal metaphor for his fiction. He currently works as the director of research and chief compliance officer for a series of mental health and addiction treatment facilities. He's also one of the world's foremost authorities on the Klingon language, having championed the exploration of this constructed tongue and lectured on this unique topic throughout the world. In addition, he's the publisher behind a new speculative fiction small press, Paper Golem, aimed at serving the niche of up-and-coming new writers. In 2007 he was nominated for the John W. Campbell Award for best new writer. His fiction has been translated into Catalan, Chinese, Dutch, Finnish, German, Greek, Hebrew, Polish, Portuguese, Spanish, and more.


1. Short [7726 words]Buffalo Dogs [An Amazing Conroy Story] by Lawrence M. Schoen [Science Fiction]
2. Very Short [2774 words]Candeloro's Magic by Lawrence M. Schoen [Fantasy]
3. Short [4631 words]Chasing the Bear by Lawrence M. Schoen [Fantasy]
4. Short [4836 words]Case Study by Lawrence M. Schoen [Science Fiction]
5. Very Short [1056 words]Names by Lawrence M. Schoen [Science Fiction]
6. Very Short [1105 words]Cruel Teacher by Lawrence M. Schoen [Science Fiction]
7. Very Short [1736 words]Bug Juice by Lawrence M. Schoen [Science Fiction]
8. Short [10525 words]Telepathic Intent [An Amazing Conroy Story] by Lawrence M. Schoen [Science Fiction]
9. Short [7056 words]The Matter at Hand [An Amazing Conroy Story] by Lawrence M. Schoen [Science Fiction]
10. Short [7045 words]The Sky's The Limit by Lawrence M. Schoen [Science Fiction]
  1. Short [5476 words]Bidding the Walrus by Lawrence M. Schoen [Science Fiction]
2. Short [7726 words]Buffalo Dogs [An Amazing Conroy Story] by Lawrence M. Schoen [Science Fiction]
3. Short [10525 words]Telepathic Intent [An Amazing Conroy Story] by Lawrence M. Schoen [Science Fiction]
4. Short [5438 words]The Game of Leaf and Smile by Lawrence M. Schoen [Science Fiction]
5. Short [7056 words]The Matter at Hand [An Amazing Conroy Story] by Lawrence M. Schoen [Science Fiction]
6. Very Short [2774 words]Candeloro's Magic by Lawrence M. Schoen [Fantasy]
7. Short [4631 words]Chasing the Bear by Lawrence M. Schoen [Fantasy]
8. Short [6695 words]Requiem [An Amazing Conroy Story] by Lawrence M. Schoen [Science Fiction]
9. Short [4836 words]Case Study by Lawrence M. Schoen [Science Fiction]
10. Very Short [2737 words]Past Waves by Lawrence M. Schoen [Fantasy]

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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 items in this category.   

1 Buffalo Dogs [An Amazing Conroy Story] [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  'Buffalo dogs' are breadbox-sized creatures that can eat anything and fart oxygen. In addition to having a monopoly on these creatures, the alien Arconi can sense falsehood, and their laws allow them to execute anyone in possession of an unlicensed 'buffalito.' Enter the Amazing Conroy, a stage hypnotist who is accused of smuggling, cleared of all charges, and then attempts to actually smuggle a fertile buffalo dog off world. (Published: 2001) John W. Campbell Memorial Award Nominee

Words: 7726 - Reading Time: 22-30 min.
Category: Science Fiction
27 Reader Ratings:
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2 Candeloro's Magic [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  When the King's ransomed daughter is returned, it falls to the magician, Candeloro, to undo the wrongs she has suffered. Can he endure the pain and anguish of several other lifetimes in order to draw the darkness fro her and restore her innocence? And if so, at what price? (Published: 1999)

Words: 2774 - Reading Time: 7-11 min.
Category: Fantasy
19 Reader Ratings:
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List Price:  $0.49     $0.42
You Pay:  $0.27     $0.23
You Save:  44.9%     53.06%

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3 Bidding the Walrus [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  Walrus Gideon, head of his own custom cybernetics company is barely getting by. He can undercut his competition on contract bids, but only a few at a time. After all, there's only so much work a two-man operation can take on. That's fine though, until a satisfied customer gives him a gift, an A.Y., or "Artificial You", that thinks it can do whatever Walrus can do, which not only includes bidding on jobs, but making copies of itself, who also then bid on jobs and make copies of themselves, and... (Published: 2003)

Words: 5476 - Reading Time: 15-21 min.
Category: Science Fiction
22 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.69     $0.59

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4 Bug Juice [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  A seventy-year old researcher forces a meeting with his thirty-something boss who can't be bothered to read the lab reports from such an outdated employee. But the old man has invented a device to control biochemical processes and uses it to forcibly prevent his unwanted retirement. (Published: 2000)

Words: 1736 - Reading Time: 4-6 min.
Category: Science Fiction
36 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.49     $0.42

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5 Case Study [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  Rupert's thinks he's having trouble with his Abnormal Psych class, but the trouble really begins when a time-travelling student from the future, that only he can see and hear, shows up and wants to use Rupert for his own college assignment. (Published: 2000)

Words: 4836 - Reading Time: 13-19 min.
Category: Science Fiction
18 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.65     $0.55

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6 Chasing the Bear [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  After centuries of exile, the Dwarfs have returned to Gorsk mountain. Not all dwarfs are created equal; Oksnar's talents don't lie with metalwork or craftsmanship, but he does have a way with animals, particularly large animals. While 'officially' on sentry watch for trolls, Oksnar spots a bear for the first time and becomes determined to master this amazing creature several times his size, even if it kills him. (Published: 2002)

Words: 4631 - Reading Time: 13-18 min.
Category: Fantasy
11 Reader Ratings:
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List Price:  $0.65     $0.55
You Pay:  $0.36     $0.31
You Save:  44.62%     52.31%

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7 Cruel Teacher [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  Before the aliens invade, they'll first send in a few spies to uncover our weak spots and learn how we think. And they'll do it by studying our children on the playground. (Published: 2003)

Words: 1105 - Reading Time: 3-4 min.
Category: Science Fiction
19 Reader Ratings:
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8 Euphemism Skin [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  In this tale of first contact and alien prejudice, the aliens from a galactic confederation are considering extending membership to Earth, an invitation that includes the gift of star-spanning technology. There's just one hitch. Humanity seems to possess an assortment of traits that offend the sensibilities of several of the nonhuman members. But the particulars of their extra-terrestrial bigotry make no sense! Surely attributes like encouraging children to outgrow the need for imaginary friends... more info>> (Published: 1999)

Words: 1470 - Reading Time: 4-5 min.
Category: Science Fiction
19 Reader Ratings:
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9 Golem Summer [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  A car accident shattered young Sheldon's life, killing his sister, father, and grandfather. His mother is never around, his best friend is weak and near death, and the school bully has decided to use Sheldon as his personal punching bag. But Sheldon's life gets even worse when the bully mangles a newborn puppy and leaves the dying animal with Sheldon. But then, miraculously, Sheldon becomes a conduit for the dying puppy's lifeforce, transferring it to a papier māche manikin. And then his life re... more info>> (Published: 2002)

Words: 9489 - Reading Time: 27-37 min.
Category: Fantasy
6 Reader Ratings:
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List Price:  $1.09     $0.93
You Pay:  $0.60     $0.51
You Save:  44.95%     53.21%

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10 Names [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  What do you do when, despite the impossibility of it all, your friend knows everyone's name, and I mean EVERYONE, whether he's ever met them or not? Why, you make him prove it, of course. (Published: 1998)

Words: 1056 - Reading Time: 3-4 min.
Category: Science Fiction
19 Reader Ratings:
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11 Past Waves [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  Some days it doesn't pay to get out of bed. Some days you end up meeting crazy old men who claim to be the last survivors of Atlantis. Most days your entire life seems utterly pointless. And one day, one of those crazies shows you there's more to it than you ever realized. (Published: 1990)

Words: 2737 - Reading Time: 7-10 min.
Category: Fantasy
20 Reader Ratings:
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List Price:  $0.49     $0.42
You Pay:  $0.27     $0.23
You Save:  44.9%     53.06%

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12 Pidgin [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  Stop me if you've heard this one before. An alien goes into a store, walks up to the clerk, and asks to buy some fruit. It makes the request again and again, each time claiming to speak in a different terrestrial language. Except, the languages are all English, and the kinds of fruit the alien seems to want change with every repetition. And one more thing, it's a hardware store! (Published: 2005)

Words: 1048 - Reading Time: 2-4 min.
Category: Science Fiction
28 Reader Ratings:
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13 Quantum Pen [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  Ted has invented a device that let's him control the quantum choice points that lead to parallel universes, and he's incorporated it into a PDA and stylus, allowing him to literally write himself into the world of his dreams. (Published: 2003)

Words: 805 - Reading Time: 2-3 min.
Category: Science Fiction
30 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.49     $0.42

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14 Requiem [An Amazing Conroy Story] [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  Former hypnotist turned mega-billionaire, the Amazing Conroy recounts his origins of being a penniless student marooned on a cemetery planet. He begins performing as a hypnotist, and inadvertently causes an alien exile to channel the consciousness of another race, in direct violation of their most sacred beliefs, marking himself for death in the process. (Published: 2005)

Words: 6695 - Reading Time: 19-26 min.
Category: Science Fiction
17 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.85     $0.72

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15 Retro-Virus [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  It's 2024, and Marcie, a corporate A.I. employed by the investment firm of Langston, Howard, & Associates, has been infected with a rogue computer virus. It's taken four days, but all her system diagnostics are finally coming back normal. And yet, deep in her digital heart, Marcie now remembers being a flesh and blood human being. Specifically, she remembers being Jean Baptiste Joseph Fourier, a nineteenth century mathematician once appointed by Napoleon to be governor of Lower Egypt. What's an ... more info>> (Published: 2001)

Words: 1796 - Reading Time: 5-7 min.
Category: Science Fiction
31 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.49     $0.42

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16 Smooth Manuever [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  The Sasnak, Earth's first aliens have arrived. They're generous and friendly, maybe a little too friendly. Despite having different internal anatomy, on the outside they look pretty human (once you get past the pale blue skin). And they really like humans. Members of the Sasnak delegation love traveling and dining out with Earth's elite: politicians, poet laureates, film stars. Unfortunately, they're also routinely choking during meals in some of our best restaurants, requiring help in clearing ... more info>> (Published: 2001)

Words: 1294 - Reading Time: 3-5 min.
Category: Science Fiction
29 Reader Ratings:
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17 Solitaire [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  A man with anteriograde amnesia, the inability to lay down new memories, sits in his study, gazing out the window and playing cards against himself, again and again. (Published: 2001)

Words: 1172 - Reading Time: 3-4 min.
Category: Science Fiction
11 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.49     $0.42

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18 Sweet Potato Pie [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  Young Zachary doesn't know why his uncle has a beautiful new wife every year, for as long as he can remember, but he knows his uncle likes pie, and so does he. When it rains sweet potatoes--as it sometimes does--Zak gathers up a bunch and sets off to make a pie for the family's dinner. (Published: 2005)

Words: 2786 - Reading Time: 7-11 min.
Category: Fantasy
17 Reader Ratings:
Great Good OK Poor
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List Price:  $0.49     $0.42
You Pay:  $0.27     $0.23
You Save:  44.9%     53.06%

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19 Telepathic Intent [An Amazing Conroy Story] [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  The Amazing Conroy, stage hypnotist turned business mogul, meets an alien baroness and falls in love, but the baroness's people have a telepathic gift to project their desires on those around them. Conroy must determine if he truly loves her--or if he loves her because she wants him to lover her, all while clearing himself of the murder of an enemy killed by a hypnotized assassin. (Published: 2003)

Words: 10525 - Reading Time: 30-42 min.
Category: Science Fiction
13 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $1.25     $1.06

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20 The Game of Leaf and Smile [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  Kjest is a young demon, a Pain Lord whose only talent is winning tourneys and taking his opponents power as his own. A demonic lottery forces Zhole, eldest of the Lords of Disease, from the peace and quiet of his retirement to answer the upstart's challenge. On a Halloween night in a Philadelphia suburb, they will play a game with humans as tokens. Now Zhole, the demon responsible for the plagues that killed half of Europe, must elicit moments of delight and instants of joy from the game pieces,... more info>> (Published: 2005)

Words: 5438 - Reading Time: 15-21 min.
Category: Science Fiction
13 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.69     $0.59

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21 The Matter at Hand [An Amazing Conroy Story] [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  As CEO of Buffalogic, Inc., the Amazing Conroy risks his recent fortune in an alien poker game called "Matter" where beyond the rules of the game, there are no rules. Can a former hypnotist win against an alien opponent who is not only a master of the game, but can read Conroy's mind and knows the cards in his hand? (Published: 2005)

Words: 7056 - Reading Time: 20-28 min.
Category: Science Fiction
22 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.85     $0.72

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22 The Novice [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  Vampires are real. Their powers are vast, but only when they've been around a few centuries. It takes a while for the 'dark gift' to build up in a person, all part and parcel of a kind of Vampiric survival of the fittest. Eugene has just become a vampire, but he's also still a nerd, and he's not having much luck getting the blood he needs to survive. Can a nerd find a way to survive hundreds of years to become the next dark lord? Eugene sure hopes so. (Published: 1999)

Words: 1202 - Reading Time: 3-4 min.
Category: Humor
25 Reader Ratings:
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23 The Sky's The Limit [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  An homage to the great Damon Runyon. An unnamed narrator accompanies the fantastically lucky Joey Morlock onboard a privately owned airship for a floating poker game organized by Manhole McGovern, a murderous mobster who does not like to lose. But more than money is at stake when Joey Morlock falls in love with the mobster's doll and refuses to lose at cards. (Published: 2004) Nebula Award(R) Preliminary Ballot Nominee

Words: 7045 - Reading Time: 20-28 min.
Category: Science Fiction
293 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.85     $0.72

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24 Whale Song [MultiFormat]
by Lawrence M. Schoen
  Nobel Prize winning biologist, Professor Casteris gives the commencement address at her alma mater, passing on sage advice to the new graduates, couched in metaphors of evolution and survival, asking them to take on their future, even as her own life has been shattered. After years of research, she's finally translated whale speech, and the message from our cetacean cousins is not what she expected at all. (Published: 2000)

Words: 2314 - Reading Time: 6-9 min.
Category: Science Fiction
34 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.49     $0.42

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