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Tom Gerencer
Alert me when new Tom Gerencer titles are added

Bio: Tom Gerencer is an ex-ambulance driver, ex-chicken shed shoveler, and ex-commercial copywriter who has written "enough unpublishable drek to wallpaper the inside of the Taj Mahal." He has also written four hours worth of dramatized, audiotaped Bible stories for unsuspecting British children. His fiction has appeared in Science Fiction Age, The Brutarian, E-Scape, The Orphic Chronicle, and DAW's Oceans of Magic anthology. His work will be appearing soon in Realms of Fantasy, Tekno Books' Men Writing SF as Women anthology, and Fictionwise.com. Tom is a Clarion '99 graduate who currently makes his living kayaking and renting snowmobiles, and he's always wanted to be an investment banker, but he can never find the time…


1. Very Short [2616 words]Demo Mode by Tom Gerencer [Humor/Science Fiction]
2. Very Short [1870 words]Intergalactic Refrigerator Repairmen Seldom Carry Cash by Tom Gerencer [Science Fiction/Humor]
3. Very Short [2185 words]Trailer Trash Savior by Tom Gerencer [Humor/Fantasy]
  1. Very Short [2716 words]A Taste of Damsel by Tom Gerencer [Humor]
2. Very Short [2616 words]Demo Mode by Tom Gerencer [Humor/Science Fiction]
3. Short [5050 words]Why I Bring a Bag Lunch Now by Tom Gerencer [Humor/Science Fiction]

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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 items in this category.   

1 Demo Mode [MultiFormat]
by Tom Gerencer
  In the future, schools will be outdated and we'll all have knowledge grafted straight into our heads. Just make sure they configure the innoculotron correctly, or you might wind up contracting Esperanto by mistake! 2000

Words: 2616 - Reading Time: 7-10 min.
Category: Humor
141 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.49     $0.42

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2 Intergalactic Refrigerator Repairmen Seldom Carry Cash [MultiFormat]
by Tom Gerencer
  A secret vampire? A Celtic Princess? Three mighty dragonslayers with magic helms of gleaming light? Well, no, actually, it's just a funny story and something hideous comes out of an olive jar. Gerencer's first published work is a comic wild ride through the vagaries of kitchen appliances and their care and upkeep. Includes lamb-tongue, malfunctioning arms, and an inordinate amount of chewing gum. 1998

Words: 1870 - Reading Time: 5-7 min.
Category: Science Fiction
30 Reader Ratings:
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3 Primordial Chili [MultiFormat]
by Tom Gerencer
  Have you ever had one of those days when everything just seems to go … right? Even when it's wrong? "Primordial Chili" is a laugh-out-loud thrill-ride of culinary perfection, taken to cosmic proportions. The planets align, the gods speak, and supper turns out pretty good, too. 1999

Words: 2513 - Reading Time: 7-10 min.
Category: Humor
132 Reader Ratings:
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4 Ocean's Eleven [MultiFormat]
by Tom Gerencer & Mike Resnick
  Why does the ocean roar? You'd roar too, if you had crabs on your bottom. The North Atlantic gets fed up with its position ("There's no advancement") and decides to try a new career. Workplace troubles, disgruntlement, and desk-side medical waste abound in this funny venture from Mike Resnick and Tom Gerencer. 2001

Words: 1851 - Reading Time: 5-7 min.
Category: Fantasy
122 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.59     $0.50

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5 Trailer Trash Savior [MultiFormat]
by Tom Gerencer
  So the millennia have passed, and the time of the reckoning is once more nigh ... not to mention that you've got a busted velvet-Elvis and the oil heat isn't working. Find out what happens when the owner of a mullet and a used AMC Gremlin becomes "the chosen one," and has to battle demons, various and sundry. 1999

Words: 2185 - Reading Time: 6-8 min.
Category: Humor
58 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.55     $0.47

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6 Tourist from the Tenth Dimension [MultiFormat]
by Tom Gerencer
  What do you do when an eight-foot, roughly centipede-shaped creature materializes in the kitchen of your trailer home, where it plans to stay for two weeks of its "tourist-type vacation"? You could take it drinking, for one thing … but watch out for the interstellar pickpockets... 1998

Words: 1481 - Reading Time: 4-5 min.
Category: Science Fiction
62 Reader Ratings:
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7 Why I Bring a Bag Lunch Now [MultiFormat]
by Tom Gerencer
  School lunch, weird teachers, horrifying lunchroom employees and all the terror of a hundred-thousand dreams of showing up for class in nothing but your underwear. Marty Ruckerman and chums find out the horrible secrets lurking in the teacher's lounge at Emerpathy Middle School. [Publisher Note: Also available in the anthology switch.blade: School's Out] 2002

Words: 5050 - Reading Time: 14-20 min.
Category: Humor
50 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $0.65     $0.55

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8 A Taste of Damsel [MultiFormat]
by Tom Gerencer
  Anyone can slay a dragon. Well, provided they are dragonslayers, which Colson isn't. But even clerks from photocopy shops can have heroic qualities, and even the very, very old can learn new tricks. 2002

Words: 2716 - Reading Time: 7-10 min.
Category: Humor
52 Reader Ratings:
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9 Primordial Chili and Other Impossible Treats [Unabridged] [MP3 Audio]
by Tom Gerencer
  Four humorous short science fiction and fantasy stories, read by the author. Includes "Primordial Chili" in which the planets align, the gods speak, and supper turns out pretty good, too (Science Fiction Age, 1999), "A Taste of Damel," where even clerks from copy shops can have heroic qualities and even the very, very old can learn new tricks (Realms of Fantasy, 2002), "Demo Mode," offering a future vision where we'll all have knowledge grafted straight into our heads (Science Fiction Age, 2000)... more info>> 1999

Length: 0 hours, 54 minutes, 33 secs
Category: Science Fiction
9 Reader Ratings:
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You Pay:  $2.50     $2.13

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