It was impossible because if he ever got that close again he would surely break her. But the kiss, it was like drinking from ambrosia and wanting more. He tasted so good, better than she remembered, and she hated to admit she was addicted. At that point Raye hated the weak part of her that loved him.
She expected him to show up at any minute. Her mom was off so she was sitting with Belle at home. They had issues to discuss so Raye waited at her shop for him to arrive after she closed at five.
The knock on the door made her lift her head from the papers that she had stopped paying attention to minutes ago. She walked out of the back office to unlock the door and let him in. He was wearing his uniform. From the top of his head where he wore a beret down to his tan boots, he looked too damn good. It doesn't help that he's six feet two and cut like granite, she thought mournfully.
She firmed her shoulders and spoke. "Hi, we can talk in my office."
He looked around. "Nice shop. I still want to sign up for the CRF program."
"I'll find you a slot." Raye sat at her desk and pulled out her schedule book. "Looking through the list I can fit you in on Tuesdays at two."
Sean nodded. "That's fine. So what did you want to talk to me about?"
She lifted the scheduling book and handed him the papers from beneath. He scanned them briefly before handing them back to her. "I don't want these."
Her eyes flew to his face. "What else do you expect? I'm being fair. Sean, every other weekend when you get your orders straight is more than adequate. As you can see I'm not asking for anything. Your money is safe."
"It's not about the money, Raye. Can't you let the past go?"
She laughed sarcastically. "The past is what is giving you this right now. I want you to have some kind of relationship with your daughter. I had one with my dad and won't deny her that."
"I don't want the papers," he said stubbornly.
"What the hell do you want, Sean?" She threw her hands in the air. "You came back into my life and I have to share my daughter with you. There is nothing more I can possibly give!"
He was out of his seat in a flash, pulling her from the chair she sat in. He hauled her against his chest, and Raye felt as if she was drowning in his intense emerald gaze.
His voice was husky when he spoke. "I don't want them because I like how we are now. I don't want some drawn up court documents making the distance between us bigger. I want us to get closer, to be a family. Papers won't do that. You letting me in will."
She shook her head in denial. He was saying all the right words she wanted to hear, but then that was Sean. He always had the right words to make her feel like she was the only thing in the world that made him happy. She felt tears fill her eyes and fall down her cheeks. Sean brushed them away and kissed her fiercely.
He pressed his forehead against hers. "Forgive me for what I did. Please give me the chance to prove to you I was just a stupid idiot who thought about his career as a life not a job."
"You were thirty-two, and it's only two years later, Sean. What has changed, huh? Tell me what won't make you run like a bat out of hell when a new position is offered to you?" She looked up at him. "You could have told me goodbye another way. But you made sure it hurt, and you did a good job of it. You can't be my hero in a uniform. I don't believe in them anymore. I don't believe in you."
"I won't let you push me away. Those barriers you built up I will knock down, and if you build them back up, I'll just knock them down again. I am in this for the long haul, baby. You keep pushing me away, and I'm going to keep coming back."
She never fully recovered from being alone, pregnant, and hurting both physically and mentally. Raye opened her mouth to refuse him, to deny him and to hurt him like he destroyed her. Sean never let her speak a word. He swooped in for a kiss that made heat travel through her body. Yet again she was pressed against the wall. This time it was her office. She could feel the hardness of his body through his uniform. He molded his body against her as their tongues dueled and parried. Fighting the battle that waged between them searching for conquest with neither gaining anything but more passion, fire, and lust. He kissed his way down her neck, and he lifted her against him. She couldn't help but wrap her legs around his waist while his hand pushed her skirt high to cup her thighs. His hands were big just like she remembered, squeezing her, and a guttural moan escaped him.
"Sean..." She gasped his name. Wanting to tell him no but unwilling to stop the feelings rolling through her.
"Please, I need you just let me touch you just a little bit," he muttered against her lips. "I feel like I'm dying without you."
"Yes." She heard the words come from her own lips in a whimper.
Something broke inside her, a crack in the walls she kept shored up tight. His lips found hers once more, and his tongue buried deep into her mouth. She shivered as his fingers slipped between the elastic of her panties to touch her. She jerked at the pleasurable invasion. His tongue imitated in her what his fingers did as he inserted them into her pussy. He pressed them deep making her cry out against his lips, and he moaned in response.
"Let me give you this," he muttered as he fucked her with his fingers, and she arched her head against the wall letting the feelings overwhelm her senses. "Come for me, Raye. I'll lick your come from my fingers just to have a taste of you."