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Men [MultiFormat]
eBook by Trish Dozier

eBook Category: Self Improvement
eBook Description: MEN is every woman's untold story.

Spoken in a universal language, MEN takes a categorical dive exploring every imaginable characteristic that women encounter in the relationship world... from Aggressor to Actor, Philosopher to Narcissist, Chick-Guy to Daddy's Boy, MEN covers the spectrum in an engaging manner.

eBook Publisher: SynergEbooks, Published: SynergEbooks, 2011
Fictionwise Release Date: July 2011




ONE

Generally Speaking...

If we can write and celebrate a phenomenon that lays out why "he's just not that into you," then we can also take pleasure in finding out why that just might be a blessing.

Type the word 'normal' into a thesaurus and what should pop up is nothing but blank space. Since there is no such thing, how do you create any sort of analogy? It's kind of like zero to the third power. Still zero.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I wrote this book about men for the quote-unquote "normal" woman to read and take identification with, considering the men on this planet that are so clearly defined, yet dramatized (via their own doing). And to offer insight and a much needed dose of simplicity to those that think the search might not be worth the time anymore. And for shits and giggles, to those that have a robust sense of humor.

So, how is a woman seeking a "normal" relationship able to find her way to or alongside a man in this wide, mad world? (Feel free to insert stable, healthy, or any word of your choosing into the above quotation marks... all the same at the end of the day.)

For women that don't enjoy being abused emotionally, physically, verbally or otherwise (with the exception of some knee burns or the like during a heated animalistic sex session); those who don't crave over-the-top zealousness, be it sports, religion, sex, electronic or whatever related; as well as those that actually choose heterosexuality because they prefer a man versus a dude that has gotten way too in touch with his feminine side; or the kind of woman who is confronted with the guy that feels as if he is the center of the universe or that particular man-boy that just needs a mama, or...

And many moreeeeeee...!

Despite the numerous opportunities available to digress during writing this book, that is not where this is going. It's time to rein these men-dilemmas in and focus toward healthier choices in real life situations. This isn't Dorothy clicking her heels or Prince Charming waiting for the perfect moment to swoop you into a chariot. This isn't bashing for the sake of bitching. This is a collection of real-life experiences that (un)fortunately hold universal appeal among women.

There are all sorts of textbook, over-the-counter superficial remedies that women have to swallow about a man -- no gag intended. But it's insanely intriguing to see the commonality between the different types of men and how simplified the categories become when we begin to break it down into plain terms.

The liberating part of this whole man puzzle is that there is freedom in the understanding of where and how these men fit and why they don't. It doesn't matter if you haven't had personal experiences with each kind that you'll read about; it just means that you might be better equipped when you run into -- and you will -- one of the types that isn't on your particular resume. As I started to write this book, simply and sadly because of my own personal experiences with each of the categories below, I started trying to expand into other types of men that were outside the realm of my own life... and that was not the right direction to take. I can't tell you what it's like to be in a relationship with a Surf Bum, War Veteran, Political Figure or ironically, a Writer. I can, however outline how awful it is to try and have a discussion about yourself with a Narcissist. I can tell you hot and bothered I would get while climbing all over Hot Dumb Guy just as I realized that electric feeling would fade all too quick when his ignorance meter would kick in. I will never forget wishing that things and possessions would motivate me so that I could better understand Money Man. At various junctures, my body would gently remind me to stay away from the Ass Man in the future after experiencing that relationship... it only took one time to make a lasting imprint. I hated myself for feeling as I did with Shorty and Blue Collar, yet I was unwilling to alter my perceptions within those categories, which revealed quite a bit about my own character. And there is nothing in this world of relationships like finding and being with a Real Man.

All things considered, let us not forget that it takes two to tango. So, the regarding the men in our lives, women... no matter how screwed up or wrong are, they are still a reflection of our own choices.

Apparently I don't learn very quickly in this whole messy relationship world, which is why it took me multiple examples within many of the categories of Men to be able to capture it in a cohesive and entertaining way. Think of the next pages as a sort of forewarning. And you'll have a hell of a riot along the way reading what could be, might've been, or will take place. For some of you all that has transpired will resonate and reaffirm, and that which hasn't yet come your way will probably amuse and slightly scare you. Par for the course.

In case you're wondering, I am not a lesbian, nor have I had any women-only experiences (although I can't figure out why); I don't hate men; I am not a psycho in the relationship arena (although that general category will be duly covered); and I resent bitter, negative lines of thinking. I have, however, thought like a man for the better part of my time spent in this life -- or so I've often been told. And because of that, I possess the gift of writing so intimately about them.

And if you're into the guy, you know THAT guy, who likes to put you down in front of his friends, or show you who's boss behind closed doors; the one who thinks that your job lies in serving him; or who would rather sit in front of a television show than fuck your brains out when given the choice; the man who is perpetually cursed with complacency; or the one who can't wait to light up a joint or snort a line during or after a grand sex-session from which it took you three hours to get equipped for; the mighty one who would rather theorize for hours why you're wrong about something as simple as pairing chicken breast with wild rice instead of mashed potatoes; the precious one who needs you to baby talk him in order to make sure he sleeps as many hours as 'they' require as a species; the stellar one who cannot handle you wearing anything flattering outside of your home lorded over by his presence, let alone inside your home in front of a barely cracked windows despite the fact that it was the same outfit he met you in (in public); or the sexy beast who cannot fathom coming inside you and then traveling down south despite the countless sessions where he urges you to taste your own sweet nectar on his cock; or hey... how about dear Romeo who is so enamored with you from the jump because of your eloquent vocabulary and the way you carried yourself (remember how he used the word gait so flawlessly in the initial woo-phase), but now he can't understand why it's a big deal for him to fart to the tune of his favorite song through the meal you prepared and get all butt-hurt when you don't find the stench amusing whilst intermingling with your lobster risotto....

Yeah, if THAT guy does it for you in a way that makes your heart go pitter-pitter-pat, perhaps this book isn't right for you. Donate it to someone you know that wants a little bit more out of life from their pursuits of [wo]mankind if you already have it in your possession.

And if you don't have that sort of friend to lend it to, find one.

Without further adieu, it is now time for me to reiterate the fact that I dig men. I would snort male pheromones if I could figure out how, particularly the ones that make and keep me wet all day long without even as much as a glance. I melt against the lines across a man's back and the salt and pepper experiences that comprise their chest and head and everything between. I admire their strength, even when they don't know how to properly use it because it reveals a sort of vulnerability that makes the whole package that much more intriguing. I'm a sucker for their weakness, because I know it contributes to their wholeness. I love the concept of a male and female and how great a snug fit they can be. And I'm not talking Ken and Barbie union; I mean man and woman and all the things that the two can make come alive simply from combining both sides of the powerful equation. I can spot a man from across a saturated airport when he's complete in and of himself. I love the way a man feels beneath me, be it nose to nose, skin to fingertips, or wet to wetter.

A true Man is something to breathtakingly behold... and it takes a true Woman to recognize that.

Storybook exists, even now, and we can see it when we're not saturated by our own jaded outlook. There exists a duo that see each other first and everything else much, much later. I fall in love with a couple when I see the man leaning in and not caring how many cheesy ways he comes off in front of others: when you can see that he's truly seeing her, and that she's his motivation for whatever may come. There's no drama in the gesture, only solidarity.

Love is underrated, despite the popular, soiled opinion of the day. Even when I've experienced my lowest of lows from a relationship standpoint, I can't subscribe to the cynical line of thinking that is so easy to join. I choose not to be a woman scorned, despite a myriad of reasons why I could be the President of that popular club.

The bottom line is that I appreciate everything that a man can be, despite the fact that they have really done a number to their gender. The negative side to this is simple... what man wants to hear about his potential? In his mind, being a man isn't a journey he wants to embark upon... you better believe he considers it his headliner. And he'll spend a hell of a lot more time attempting to convince you that you're wrong versus an ounce of time listening to why you might be right.

I'm truly into the countless ways that make them tick, because God knows they make us redefine the way we spend a huge chunk of our time and energy. Men may think about sex a gazillion times a minute, but women ponder what to do with and about men equally as much.


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