"Alex, I don't have time for this. I left you a list of all the clients you have to contact while I'm away. I've left you itineraries, order print-outs, and projected deliveries. What more can I do? I'm entitled to one damned holiday a year, aren't I? Hell, I don't even get that!"
Natasha felt one eye start to twitch as a fierce urge to rip the hands-free cell from her car and chuck it out on to the road almost overcame her. Alex was the best assistant she had ever had, but, at this moment in time, when she was two inches from freaking out and blowing a serious gasket about her upcoming vacation, she didn't need him pestering her with work.
"Can I help it that you're a control freak and have always handled everything yourself?" Alex asked sardonically.
Despite the anger of only a few seconds ago, Natasha smiled. "Yeah, that could have something to do it, but I can't do any more for you, Alex. You've just got to learn. You know why I'm doing this. I'm going to be around the office less and less hopefully in the future, and, when I can't be there, I want you to pick up the mantel. I want you to be my eyes and ears. This will be a great learning curve for you."
"I still can't believe the most orthodox woman in the world is trying to get pregnant in the sleaziest of ways! It's so unlike you! "
"It's not sleazy. It's more natural than going to a doctor's clinic and spreading my damned legs for the specialist to cop a feel!"
"True. True. But still . . . you're just . . . so . . . ."
"Boring?" she supplied helpfully and then ignored his stuttering. "Not only that, I'm hardly rolling in money, Alex. The business takes every cent I earn. The money that would go towards artificial insemination could go towards the baby, and I'd much prefer not to get pregnant in some clinical office. At least this way, I might get an orgasm as well!"
Alex chuckled. "You slut you. I didn't realize you had it in you!"
"Takes one to know one. How's Lewis by the way?"
"Fine. As gorgeous as ever. You should come over for dinner one night when you get back. Hopefully we can feed the two of you," Alex said with a wry laugh. "Anyway, I'll try and grow a bigger pair of balls because I'm sure Derek would appreciate them as well as yourself."
"Alright. Wish me luck, honey."
"A babe like you doesn't need luck. Bye, sweet thing."
Disconnecting the call, Natasha wished she could grow a pair of balls as well because fear and nerves were already threatening to choke her. Her throat was closing up, a nervous lump was lodged in the very center, making it impossible to swallow. Not that she was going to be doing much of that or wanted to when her mouth was bone dry.
She felt hot and sweaty from tension, her shoulders were one huge knot, and she knew that she was almost ready to quit, ready to pull out of something she'd been planning for what seemed like forever! It didn't matter that she wanted a baby more than anything in the world, at this moment in time she just wasn't sure if she could make herself sexually available to men who were looking for an easy lay.
While it was true that this was a less clinical method of getting pregnant and that there was a chance of her actually enjoying herself in the process, it still felt like a pretty damned detached and impersonal way to create a life!
Talking to Alex had given her a semblance of calm, though, and had made her feel a little better. Having to discuss her work, which for the last few years had been the sum total of her existence, also helped. But still, she felt edgy.