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eBook Category: Science Fiction/Humor
eBook Description: A crazed view of the commercial future of a mouse of a country lying beside an elephant of a country.

eBook Publisher: Fictionwise.com, Published: On Spec, ed. Jena Snyder et al., 1997
Fictionwise Release Date: May 2002

38 Reader Ratings:

Great	Good	OK	Poor

Available eBook Formats [MultiFormat - What's this?]: eReader (PDB) [24 KB] , ePub (EPUB) [32 KB] , Rocket/REB1100 (RB) [11 KB] , Adobe Acrobat (PDF) [58 KB] , Palm Doc (PDB) [10 KB] , Microsoft Reader (LIT) [63 KB] , Franklin eBookMan (FUB) [83 KB] , hiebook (KML) [57 KB] , Sony Reader (LRF) [42 KB] , iSilo (PDB) [10 KB] , Mobipocket (PRC) [11 KB] , Kindle Compatible (MOBI) [39 KB] , OEBFF Format (IMP) [21 KB]
Words: 2154
Reading time: 6-8 min.
Microsoft Reader (LIT) Format: Printing DISABLED, Read-Aloud ENABLED
Adobe Acrobat (PDF) Format:  Printing DISABLED, Read-Aloud DISABLED
All Other formats: Printing DISABLED, Read-aloud DISABLED

The Medium is the Massage

(Views of various modes of transportation: 797s and Airbuses thundering in for landings; high speed rail pulling in to train stations; lines of personal automobiles passing through customs)

Announcer's Voice: "As dangers the world over and within their own country increase, American citizens increasingly look north for their vacation paradise."

(Camera cuts to fast images of: Mountie dog sledding; nude sunbathers on Wreck Beach¹; smiling blonde skiing in the Rockies)

Reach Out and Mug Someone

(Partial transcript of phone message to Dale MacDonald)

Dale: "Hello?"

Operator: "This is Rogers-Bell Canada². We are pleased to be your new telecommunications server for this area. Please indicate now if you would like to proceed to your incoming call immediately, or if you would like to hear about some of our fine..."

Dale: "Jesus! Incoming call!"

Operator: "Thank you for your choice. We will contact you shortly regarding Bell Canada operations and specials. Please proceed."

Dale: "Hello?"

Caller: "Dale MacDonald. This is the Human Resources Department for Natural Resources Export Corporation. Our records show that as of 2400 hours today you have been drafted. In keeping with federal government regulations owing to Bill C-7982³, your position is terminated. Separation pay has been deposited in your account, and at the end of your service you can expect to be offered an excellent entry-level position. Thank you."

Dale: "Shit."

[¹Wreck Beach is the nude beach in Vancouver, British Columbia. A popular place.]

[²Once known as Ma Bell. Was a monopoly until recently. Of course, Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone while he was in Nova Scotia, Canada.]

[³Every Canadian government bill begins with the letter C.]