Early Lessons With Hermes
Don't sit there poking your scrawny finger into my chest. All high and mighty, acting like I'm some kind of prehistoric slime, some horrid monster, some savage creature who doesn't deserve to breath the same air you do. I've heard your stories. Making me out to be loathsome and terrible. Who are you to look down your pimply nose at me? I don't need eyes to see that self-contented, holier than thou expression on your face. I know that look even without looking. Give me a break. You don't know anything about me.
If only you took the time to understand what someone has been through before you start pointing fingers, maybe you'd make a fair judgment. But that's asking way too much. I know better than to expect to be treated decently, much less compassionately, by creatures who invade homes, torture innocent creatures, and then claim some sort of victory in their cruelty. I could tell you stories that would make your pitiful trials in life seem like picnics in fields full of daffodils compared to what I've been through in my life.
What do you really know about me anyway? Do you know where I came from? Or how I was raised? No, you only talk about my reputation for devouring sailors and throwing boulders at passing ships. That's enough for you to judge me. Right? Hey, get a clue before you start calling names and spreading gossip. Don't blaspheme that which you are too ignorant to comprehend.
I don't know why I should bother, but I'm going to tell you my story--beginning to present. It won't take long so just sit down, open your ears, and shut your mouth a while.
Oh, but really, I shouldn't sound so angry. It's just that you caught me by surprise, stopping here at my island without me expecting you. If only I'd known company was coming, I'd be in a better mood. Let me get you a cool drink of water or maybe some buttermilk--it's goat milk, of course. Yeah, right! Okay, never mind that. Let me tell you my story.
I'll even tell it in your own vernacular so you'll be able to understand it. I have an amazing knack for languages so I'll speak in words even you can follow. More about that later.
Actually, I'm toying with you here. I'm not really this bitter and sarcastic. I used to be, but I've changed. This opening is put into the story to give you a better feeling for the way I felt and acted when I was much younger--a couple thousand years younger. I've been through a lot of painful experiences in my life, and I want you to feel some of what I've gone through. So there are going to be places in this story where I'll let you know what it feels like to live as a Cyclops. Naturally, I'm not going to tell you how everything turns out until the end. First, I want you to really get to know me. Put yourself in my huge sandals and clomp around the rugged hills of Crete for a few hours.