Aliens Ate My Pickup [MultiFormat]
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eBook by Mercedes Lackey
eBook Category: Science Fiction/Humor
eBook Description: Nothing fazes this farmer, not even finding an alien hiding under his porch.
eBook Publisher: Marion Zimmer Bradley Literary Works Trust, Published: Fiddler Fair, 1998
Fictionwise Release Date: October 2007
72 Reader Ratings:
Yes'm, I'm serious. Aliens ate my pickup. Only it weren't really aliens, jest one, even though it was my Chevy four-ton, and he was a little bitty feller, not like some Japanese giant thing ... an' he didn't really eat it, he just kinda chewed it up a little, look, you can see the teeth-marks on the bumper here an'...
Oh, start at the beginin'? Well, all right, I guess.
My name? It's Jed, Jed Pryor. I was born an' raised on this farm outsida Claremore, been here all my life. Well, 'cept for when I went t' OU.
What? Well, heck fire, sure I graduated!
What? Well, what makes you thank Okies tawk funny?
Degree? You bet I gotta degree! I gotta Batchler in Land Management right there on the wall of m'living room and--
Oh, the alien. Yeah, well, it was dark of the moon, middle of this June, when I was out doin' some night-fishin' on m'pond. Stocked it about five years ago with black an' stripy bass, just let 'em be, started fishin' it this year. I'm tellin' you, I got a five pounder on m'third cast this spring an'--
Right, the alien. Well, I was out there drownin' a coupla lures about midnight, makin' the fish laugh, when wham! all of a sudden the sky lights up like Riverparks on Fourth of July. I mean t'tell you, I haven't seen nothin' like that in all my born days! I 'bout thought them scifi writers lives over on the next farm had gone an' bought out one'a them fireworks factories in Tennessee again, like they did just before New Years. Boy howdy, that was a night! I swan, it looked like the sky over ol' Baghdad, let me tell you! Good thing they warned us they was gonna set off some doozies, or--