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Catalytic Quotes [MultiFormat]
eBook by William Maltese

eBook Category: Humor/People
eBook Description: A WORLD OF "WHAT-IF"s... Had Albert Einstein and Arsenio Hall lived at one and the same time, could it have been something the latter said--"Jack Sajak, as an emcee, is square!"--to provide the former with the breakthrough for his now world-renowned equation, E=mc2? Had The Beatles and Adolf Hitler met, the latter commenting off-handedly, "Yes, I did once get Meyer Rothschild's attention by screaming, 'Hey Jude!'"--could the idea for the former's famous song have taken root, right then and there? No one can know for sure, but internationally renowned author William Maltese can and has conjectured just such what ifs?.

eBook Publisher: Wildside Press, Published: USA, 2008
Fictionwise Release Date: July 2008




CATALYTIC: Causing significant reaction.

QUOTES: Written for another with credit acknowledgements.

(SOME: A certain amount.

HEARD: Perceived.

THROUGH: Movement into at one side and out at another.

A TIME WARP: An anomaly or discontinuity held to occur in time progression).

* * * *

A

HANK AARON to WILLIAM GOLDING:

"Yep. Me. The Lord of the Flies."

HANK AARON to ELVIS PRESLEY:

"You've got to learn to swing from the hip."

LEON ABBOT to ETHEL MERMAN:

"We're looking for a few good people to work on the stage."

THE ABDOMINABLE SNOWMAN to DOCTOR PHIBES:

"I'm abominable?! You're the one who's abominable!"

ACE to JOHN HOLMES:

"How long?"

ADAM to FOUR TOPS:

"I was always telling Eve--'Ain't no woman like the one I've got.'"

ADAM to NOEL LANGLEY:

"When I really get perturbed at her, I call her by her full name."

ADAM to JOSEPH L. MANKIEWICZ:

"Oh, I couldn't tell you all about Eve, but I'm putting it in my book."

ADAM to BARRY MC GUIRE:

"After that business in the garden, with the apple, and all the resulting havoc, my private nickname for her became 'Eve of Destruction'."

ADAM to THE OSMONDS:

"I don't have to tell you the havoc that resulted from that one bad apple."

ALADDIN to STEPPENWOLF:

"Personally, I always found a magic-carpet ride preferable to any tour bus."

ALADDIN to STEVIE WONDER: "I wish can be two pretty powerful words when you've just summoned genie from his bottle."

EDWIN EUGENE ALDRIN, JR. to BILLY PRESTON:

"No doubt about my having been part of the space race."

MUHAMMAD ALI to MICKEY FINN:

"Talk about a knock-out."

MUHAMMAD ALI to ANDY GIBB:

"I don't care what it looks like, it's shadow boxing."

MUHAMMAD ALI to JIMMY HATLO:

"Why, I'll be just fine with the help of a little iodine."

MUHAMMAD ALI to GENE MC DANIELS:

"Yes. Somewhere, back in my adolescence, I guess you could say I was one-hundred pounds of Clay."

MUHAMMAD ALI to HARRY TUGEND:

"Yes, I was caught in the draft, but did I get the shaft, and end up in Vietnam, killed by a bomb?"

ALL THE KINGS MEN to PABLO PICASSO:

"Hell, no we don't have a photo of Mr. Dumpty, but we're sure he'll appreciate whatever we can do."

DON AMECHE to SUSO CHECCHI D'AMICO and ALBA DE CESPEDES:

"Look guys, I'm really flattered that you named your movie after me, but I'm really afraid I'm going to have to pass on this one."

JAY ANSON to XAVIERA HOLLANDER:

"I know you're concerned about this whore moving in on your Amityville business, but just what makes you think there's a book in it?"

MARIE ANTOINETTE to LES BAXTER:

"So what that there are poor people of Paris? There are poor people of Rome, and poor people of Moscow, and poor people of The Bronx."

MARIE ANTOINETTE to BETTY CROCKER:

"Let them eat cake."

MARIE ANTOINETTE to FRANCO BRUSATI, IAIA FIASTRI, and NINO MANFREDI:

"Let them eat bread and chocolate!"

MARIE ANTOINETTE to THE KINGSMEN:

"Louis, Louis. That's all I ever hear. Doesn't anyone want to know what I think about anything?

MARCUS ANTONIUS to VINCENT VAN GOGH:

"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ear."

ADRIADNE to LINDA RONSTADT:

"The secret of the Labyrinth? As I told Theseus, 'It's so easy to figure out if you just trail a simple string behind you.'"

ARISTOTLE to MASON WILLIAMS:

"Excuse, please. Must be something I ate."

ROSEANNE (BARR) ARNOLD to THE FOUR SEASONS:

"So, whenever I got weepy, mom would always say, 'Come on, Roseanne, big girls don't cry.'"

ROSEANNE (BARR) ARNOLD to THE HUMAN LEAGUE:

"So, I said to Warren Beatty--'I don't understand. Don't you want me?'"

ART TEACHER to GEORGES SEURAT:

"Try a little harder to get the point, Georges."

JEAN ARTHUR to ALBERT PAYSON TERHUNE:

"My opinion of Alan Ladd? A dog as far as an actor."

KING ARTHUR to GEORGE BENSON

"Give me the knight who offended, and I'll personally see he's punished."

KING ARTHUR to MICHAEL HOGAN

"Of course, I would have liked some Arabian knights, but there's the religious thing."

KING ARTHUR to THE EAGLES

"Take a look. One of these knights is going to betray me."

KING ARTHUR to THE MOODY BLUES

"Talk about a drag ball, I never saw so many knights in white satin."

ARTHUR ASHE to BRIGHAM YOUNG:

"Love fifteen!"

ASSOCIATE OF SIR WILLIAM HERSCHEL to SIR WILLIAM HERSCHEL:

"I'm telling you, Bill, name that planet after your butt, and you'll make an ass of yourself."

ATTILA THE HUN to KURT WEILL:

"If you must know the truth, I wouldn't give more than three cents for any opera."

JOHN JAMES AUDUBON to TIPPI HEDREN:

"You're going to the birds."

JOHN AUDUBON to D.H. LAWRENCE:

"Yep. They banded this rook in Boston, and it's been soaring ever since."

JEAN AUEL to H.H. MUNRO:

"The chronicles of Clovis man would make interesting reading, don't you think? I mean, for one, the how of their fantastic spear--and arrowheads."


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