Be ready for me, my slave. I will be there before seven. I'm coming to you straight from work. I've missed you.

Master Brian.

Alice re-read the short email three times before it hit home.

He was coming to see her, how long had it been? She didn't even glance at the calendar to check. It didn't matter any more. He'd be here within a few hours.

God, did she have enough time to prepare?

She dashed for the bathroom, grabbing towels, a robe, scent and fresh razors along the way. He'd expect her to be waiting for him close to the door, and she didn't dare keep him waiting. No, she didn't need to upset him on the very day he was going to be here again.

She set down her robe, and took a deep breath. It wasn't going to help her if she just rushed through everything. If she didn't take a step back and calm down then the odds were she'd forget something and that would disappoint him. Something she didn't want to do.

The water was the right temperature, she had the razor, clean towels, the scent he preferred, her brush. She nodded slightly, mentally going over the check list. She tried not to panic as she thought about the man who was, even now, preparing to come and see her. He'd be finishing up his work at the office, setting things to one side to see to on Monday morning, then his thoughts would be turning toward the drive to her home.

She stripped off her clothing and set them neatly in the laundry basket, turned the water on in the shower, tugged the curtain in place and stepped into the bath. The steaming water hit her body without mercy, and she closed her eyes, luxuriating in the sensation of a thousand hot needles pelting her body. Her nipples crinkled instantly, forming tight pips that stood out on her body. A low moan sounded at the back of her throat and she shuddered in sheer delight.

Perhaps she was a little odd now. She'd come to enjoy the pain she associated with Brian. Not just from the BDSM play they did together, but from small things such as preparing for his arrival. It was all part of shifting into the mindset of being his submissive.

Some people might have found it easy to go from being a highly independent, strong willed woman, living on her own, to kneeling by the doorway, waiting for him to walk in. For Alice there was no switch she could flick, instead she had to immerse herself in the routine she had formed in order to be in the right frame of mind when he arrived.

She scrubbed herself down, the soap foaming between her fingers as she washed off. Her thoughts scrambled. She tried to recall what they had done the last time he was here, but her mind refused to bring the details into sharp focus. All she could recall were brief moments, flashes of delicious pain as the flogger hit her back, his voice and the touch of his hand against her cheek, telling her just how proud of her he was.

She arched her back, letting the water caress her form, her hands slid over her flesh, teasing it, until she realized what she was doing and forced her hands to her side. No, she wasn't permitted release before his arrival. That was for him alone to decide if she had earned it at his hands.

This time she would earn it a hundred times over, no matter how many doubts she had to gag at the back of her mind. It wasn't his fault. There were just too many things in her past that prevented her from being worry free. Things she wanted to be able to push past and had never found the strength to beat them on her own.

He'd promised to help her, and if she was going to be brutally honest he'd managed to help her with several problems. The only problem was--she refused to let him all the way in. But why should she let him in?

He wasn't here all the time.

She had to be able to cope with what was going on when he wasn't here. If she became too used to leaning on him and suddenly was faced with a situation that forced her to lean on a man when he wasn't here, then it would leave her in a terrible situation. She just wasn't going to put herself in that predicament.

She snatched the razor and tended to her legs, under her arms and trimmed the still neat triangle of curls over her mound.

So what if he'd asked her to move in with him--she wasn't about to surrender her independence to a man she'd only known a year. What did he think she was? A fool who rushed into a situation just because he was cute and knew how to turn her knees to water?

He was nothing special.

Just a man!

And she could always find another man, just why was she wasting her time putting herself through this for him?

Because he wasn't just a good man, he was the right one for her. Even though the doubts in the back of her mind were determined to try to cause problems, she had to get them under control.

"Damnit, I'm not going to ruin tonight. I have to get this under control," Alice growled at herself and turned the water all the way to cold. Freezing needles of water drummed into her body as she counted to sixty, her hands clenched into fists. She tried to use the cold to find a way to focus past the chaos that threatened to take charge of her mind. By the time she had reached sixty the doubts had been locked back into their cage.

Shivering she stepped out of the shower and reached for a towel.

Focus. Breathe. Remember the good times, not the doubts. No doubts tonight. He's earned that. Keep them silent and accept who he is, who I am.

She rubbed her hair quickly, and toweled down her body, still chilled, but under the brisk rubs from the towel the heat began to return. By the time she reached for the hairbrush she was almost completely calm. She tugged the brush through her hair, tidying herself up before she pulled on the satin slip she'd picked up only a few days before.

Four small drops of perfume were added to her wrists and throat before she stepped back and looked at herself in the small mirror. Just what did he see in her?

Whatever it was, she only hoped it was enough to hold his interest a little longer.