Around the Bend [MultiFormat]
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eBook by Darrell Bain
eBook Category: Humor/Fantasy
eBook Description: How would ordinary citizens react to a society where any crime can be committed so long as you have enough money to pay the fine? How did a Manx kitten gain a tail? What happens after you die? Was it technology or magic that drove two spinsters together? Suppose you could write a letter to God and get an answer--but first you had to join His fan club? What do butterflies have to do with funerals? How did Darrell Bain react to 9/11? What ever happened to that lost Viagra pill? Do ghosts have sexual preferences? Would his wife laugh or cry when her untalented cook of a husband tangles with pie dough while she's at work? Around the Bend answers these and other questions with erotica, science fiction, fantasy, humor, poetry and nonfiction. There is also an essay here by Bain's wife that will resonate with anyone who is a nurse, has known a nurse or been treated by a nurse. Betty Bain also collaborated with Darrell on the butterfly story, a true rendition of events that will leave you in tears. An eclectic, erotic, fun and meaty SF, fantasy, humor and nonfiction collection by the author of The Sex Gates, Around the Bend Contains all of Darrell Bain's short fiction, including the hilarious novella, "God vs. Boilerroom McScam." It also contains "The Good Book" (currently the basis for a short film production), "The Lost Viagra Pill," "Sharks Play No Favorites" and other science fiction, fantasy and erotic stories, and nonfiction essays. There is really no classifying this collection, but rest assured, it contains some of the best writing by Darrell Bain; and to make it even more interesting, Deron Douglas, the publisher at Double Dragon, adds an introduction and commentary.
eBook Publisher: Double Dragon Publishing, Published: 2003
Fictionwise Release Date: April 2003
Sharks Play No Favorites
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Sharks Play No Favorites was Bain's first published story. It appeared in The Testament of Lael, a chapbook anthology with a theological theme (loosely speaking). Bain has always admired the short-short story form as exemplified by Fredrick Brown, an acknowledged master of that genre and one of Bain's favorite authors. He decided to see if he could write in that format. They don't come much shorter than this one, but you will have to be the judge of its worth.
Once upon a time an odd friendship developed between an atheist and a preacher. They loved to argue, in a friendly sort of way, even though they could never agree on anything.
"Jesus could walk on water," the preacher remarked one day as they were strolling together along a beach. "It has been written in the Bible."
"No way," the atheist disclaimed. "He was only a man. He couldn't have walked on water."
"Nonsense," the preacher said. "Why, even I could walk on water if I had enough faith, even as our Lord Jesus did."
"Prove your faith, then," the atheist dared. "Here is the ocean; walk on it for me, just as you say Jesus did."
The preacher hesitated for a long moment, then abruptly came to a decision. He knelt and prayed. Resolutely, he then rose and walked confidently out into the foam, the surf, the breakers, and on up onto the top of the rolling waves.
The atheist watched and wondered, but he did not kneel, nor did he pray. "It must be mind over matter," he thought. He hesitated also, but he was no less resolute than the preacher. Determinedly, he steeled his mind and walked forthrightly into the foam, the surf, the breakers, and on up onto the top of the rolling waves.
Salt spray soaked the both of them as still they continued to argue.
"This truly shows the power of faith," the preacher proclaimed ecstatically, gliding ever farther from the shore.
"It's simply mind over matter," the atheist insisted stoically, matching the preacher stride for stride.
Their argument might have gone on and on, but at that moment the waves around them turned into a bloody, churning froth from their lacerated bodies. Just before they died, the preacher and the atheist finally agreed on one thing: whether walking on water was a matter of faith or a state of mind, it should never be attempted in shark infested waters.
Copyright © 2003 by Darrell Bain