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eBook Category: Science Fiction
eBook Description: Author Timons Esaias writes: "The original impulse to write this story came from watching three American presidential candidates (Bush, Perot, Clinton), all of whom were reputed to have had mistresses, earnestly and hypocritically debating 'family values.' I decided it might be fun to play a basic SF card: What If Things Were As We Pretend Them To Be? "The story first appeared in the British magazine Interzone, and subsequently sold in Romania and China, but was not printed in the US. Nonetheless, I've been accused of 'starting that whole Monica Lewinsky mess.' My attorneys vigorously deny this charge."

eBook Publisher: Rosetta Solutions, Inc., Published: 1994
Fictionwise Release Date: March 2002

45 Reader Ratings:

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Available eBook Formats [MultiFormat - What's this?]: eReader (PDB) [36 KB] , ePub (EPUB) [58 KB] , Rocket/REB1100 (RB) [9 KB] , Adobe Acrobat (PDF) [57 KB] , Palm Doc (PDB) [9 KB] , Microsoft Reader (LIT) [67 KB] , Franklin eBookMan (FUB) [80 KB] , hiebook (KML) [50 KB] , Sony Reader (LRF) [72 KB] , iSilo (PDB) [7 KB] , Mobipocket (PRC) [10 KB] , Kindle Compatible (MOBI) [51 KB] , OEBFF Format (IMP) [16 KB]
Words: 2500
Reading time: 7-10 min.
Microsoft Reader (LIT) Format: Printing DISABLED, Read-Aloud ENABLED
Adobe Acrobat (PDF) Format:  Printing DISABLED, Read-Aloud DISABLED
All Other formats: Printing DISABLED, Read-aloud DISABLED

"Boy, just look at him. Look at that smile!" The old man leaned forward and spat precisely into one of the aluminum spittoons. Chewing and spitting occupied most of the day in the Indiana Farm Owners' Retirement Village, what with noncarc smokeless on the market. Especially in the barbershop. "Must think he's king of the world."

This day the weathered faces bent over the two-inch screens on the arm of each of the chairs. "Must have forty, maybe fifty teeth in that mouth."

"Like a shark, I'd say."

"They're all sharks, them politicians."

The owner, a Belarussian emigré, paused between clips. "Now, fellaz, zhow some rezpect. Thatz our new Prezident." He pointed at a TV with the scissors. "Our brand new Prezident."

"Could be the old one, if you assed me. I caint see nothin' on these piddly Chinese sets."

"You can't see nothin' anyway," chimed several voices in chorus.

They quieted while a cutaway shot panned a Texas high school cheerleading squad, in white cowboy hats and black leotards, black net tights with a paisley lace pattern, and red five-inch spike heels. The commentator discussed probable appointments to the Supreme Court.

"I wouldn't want the job. No, sir," allowed the senior member of the regular afternoon crowd. "Burns a man out. President when I was born, Roosevelt, he'd served what, four, five terms? Now they don't even run for a second one."

"Bush did! And that Clinton."

"Yeah, but that was twenty-some-odd years ago."

PBS went to commercial with a still-frame of President Quantrill, waving at the crowd from his armored limousine.

"Yessir. Probly thinks he's king of the world."