PARADIGMS
Our paradigms, correct or incorrect, are the sources of our attitudes and behaviors, and ultimately our relationships with others.
-- STEPHEN R. COVEY
A store manager heard one of his salespeople say to a customer, "No, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon." The manager was shocked to hear these words and rushed to the customer as she was walking out. "That isn't true," he said, but she just gave him an odd look and walked out. He confronted the salesperson and said, "Never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we've ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what did she want?"
"Rain," said the salesperson.
How many times have you made assumptions similar to the store manager's? It's easy to do, because we all see things in different ways. We all have different paradigms or frames of reference -- like eyeglasses through which we see the world. We see the world not as it is, but as we are -- or sometimes as we are conditioned to see it.
The more we are aware of our basic paradigms, or assumptions, and the extent to which we have been influenced by our experiences, the more we can take responsibility for those paradigms, examine them, test them against reality, change them if necessary, and listen to others and be open to their perceptions.
It becomes obvious that if we want to make relatively minor changes in our lives, we can focus on our attitudes and behaviors. But if we want to make significant quantum changes, we need to work on our basic paradigms -- the way we view ourselves and the world around us.
Have you ever had an experience where you made an assumption, only to find that you had jumped to a conclusion too quickly? Describe the experience below.
What was the assumption you made?
Think about some other assumptions you may have made. What will you do this week to work on one of them?
EXAMINING YOUR PARADIGMS
Have you ever been to a different country or even to a different region in your country? What was strange to you?
Did people act the way you expected them to? What did you think about their actions?
Looking back on your travel experiences now, what do you think people thought about you? Do you believe their thoughts about you were probably similar to your thoughts about them?
If you had the opportunity to get to know people in your travels, how did that change your assumptions about them?
SHIFTING YOUR PARADIGM
Think about the different routes you can take to your home or work. Are some ways more complex than others? Is one way sometimes more convenient than another? Why or why not?
Have you ever found a new way home that you didn't know existed? What were the unexpected feelings of traveling different routes?
Now think about the way you interact with people. Are there several ways to approach them? What new ways might you try?
Copyright © 2003 by FranklinCovey Co.
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