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The Deeper Meaning of Liff [Secure eReader (recommended)/Mobipocket/Microsoft Reader]
eBook by Douglas Adams
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eBook Category: Humor
eBook Description:  Does the sensation of Tingrith(1) make you yelp? Do you bend sympathetically when you see someone Ahenny(2)? Can you deal with a Naugatuck(3) without causing a Toronto(4)? Will you suffer from Kettering(5) this summer? Probably. You are almost certainly familiar with all these experiences but just didn't know that there are words for them. Well, in fact, there aren't--or rather there weren't, until Douglas Adams and John Lloyd decided to plug these egregious linguistic lacunae(6). They quickly realized that just as there are an awful lot of experiences that no one has a name for, so there are an awful lot of names for places you will never need to go to. What a waste. As responsible citizens of a small and crowded world, we must all learn the virtues of recycling(7) and put old, worn-out but still serviceable names to exciting, vibrant, new uses. This is the book that does that for you: The Deeper Meaning of Liff--a whole new solution to the problem of Great Wakering(8) 1--The feeling of aluminum foil against your fillings. 2--The way people stand when examining other people's bookshelves. 3--A plastic packet containing shampoo, mustard, etc., which is impossible to open except by biting off the corners. 4--Generic term for anything that comes out in a gush, despite all your efforts to let it out carefully, e.g., flour into a white sauce, ketchup onto fish, a dog into the yard, and another naughty meaning that we can't put on the cover. 5--The marks left on your bottom and thighs after you've been sitting sunbathing in a wicker chair. 6--God knows what this means 7--For instance, some of this book was first published in Britain twenty-six years ago. 8--Look it up yourself.
eBook Publisher: Random House, Inc./Three Rivers Press
Fictionwise Release Date: May 2005
Available eBook Formats [Secure eReader (recommended)/Mobipocket/Microsoft Reader - What's this?]: SECURE MOBIPOCKET FORMAT [2.2 MB], SECURE MICROSOFT READER FORMAT [2.0 MB] - Requires Microsoft Reader 2.1.1 for PCs, or Microsoft Reader 2.2.2 on Pocket PC 2002 handheld devices. Some older Pocket PCs can be upgraded. Learn More., SECURE EREADER (RECOMMENDED) FORMAT [1.4 MB], OEBFF Format (IMP) [1.4 MB]
All formats: Printing DISABLED, Read-aloud DISABLED
Microsoft Reader ISBN, Adobe Acrobat Reader ISBN, MobiPocket Reader ISBN, eReader (recommended) ISBN: 9780307238740
 
How to Pronounce the Phonetic Bits VOWELS A: should be pronounced like the "a" in "grab" except for: ah: as in "father" air: as in "hairy" ar: as in "car" aw: as in "awful" ay: as in "day" E: should be pronounced like the short "e" in "get" except for: ee: as in "been" er: short "er" sound as at the end of "mother" ew: long "you" sound as at the front of "Uganda" I: is short as in "antidisestablishmentarianism" igh: represents the long "i" as in "sigh" Where "igh" would look completely silly, a long "i" between two consonants is represented by "y." Thus: FIREFIGHTERS is not rendered as FIGHR-FIGH-ters, but as FYR-FYT-erz, which is much better. O: is usually short as in "pot" except for: oh: as in "zone" oo: as in "food" oy: as in "boy" U: "u" sounds are rendered by the short "u" in "fun" except for: ul: sort of swallowed like the "le" sound in "fiddle" ur: longer "er" than in "mother," more like in "Ben-Hur" uu: like the long "u" as in "moose" ew: like the even longer "u" in "food" ou: like the interminably long "u" in "youuuuuuuu bastard" CONSONANTS B: as in "bug" CH: as in "church" D: as in "dog" DJ: like the "j" sound in "hedge" (used when "j" on its own might be ambiguous) F: as in "fat" G: hard "g" as in "get" GH: hard "g" as in "ghost" (used when "g" on its own would be ambiguous) The soft "g" as in "gin" is represented by "j" (see below). H: as in "hill" J: as in "jeep" K: as in "key" KH: as in Scottish "loch" L: as in Scottish "loch" Good grief, there are a hell of a lot of these things to remember, aren't there? M: as in "mint" N: as in "knee" P: as in "pan" R: as in "rug" S: as in "sat" T: as in "antidisestablishmentarianism" V: as in "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanocoriosis" W: as in "wayzgoose" Y: as in "wayzgoose" Z: as in "wayzgoose"*2n ZH: like the "s" in "measure" or the French "j" in "je suis" Double consonants (bb, ff, ll, ss, etc.) are used where single ones might be ambiguous. They have no other meaning Copyright © 1990 by Serious Productions Ltd.
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