CHAPTER 1

R.J. Sullivan lay with his eyes tightly closed, listening to the sound of his father's footsteps retreating down the hall. When he heard the sound of the television go on downstairs, he opened his eyes and looked up at the ceiling. Trying to keep his voice low so his daddy wouldn't hear, he started speaking.

"Hello, Mommy, it's me, R.J. Daddy said I could talk to you anytime I wanted and you would hear me up in heaven."

R.J. paused, turned his head and looked at the picture resting on his bedside table. My Mommy was so pretty, he thought. He wished he could remember what she really looked like. Chewing on his bottom lip, he started speaking again, trying to remember what he'd practiced this afternoon.

"I hope Daddy's right and you can hear me now. We miss you awfully bad, but Daddy says you can't come back to live with us 'cause you died. I think I understand what that means. Grandma Sullivan said you're in heaven with God and that you're happy."

R.J. paused again, trying to work up his courage. He wasn't exactly sure how angels felt about criticism, but he had to try. And, it wasn't exactly criticism, just a suggestion. He took a deep breath, like he did when he had to eat vegetables, and just said what was on his mind.

"Daddy and I do okay. He makes me eat things that taste nasty sometimes, but I know they're good for me. They'll make me grow big and strong like Daddy. And I got Grandma, so we get everything done okay. I'm never late for school or anything like some of the kids. But everyone else in school has a mommy. I think we need a mommy, too, since you can't be here with us."

R.J. scrunched his eyes tightly closed. He didn't know what would happen now, but he figured if it was something bad, he didn't want to see it happen. After waiting what seemed to be an eternity, he opened his eyes cautiously. Everything looked normal. Feeling more confident, he began talking again, figuring it would be best if he just said it all and got it over with.

"Since you're in heaven with God, I'm wondering if you can get Him to send us a new mommy. I wouldn't ever forget you, but me and Daddy need a mommy down here with us real bad. I know finding mommies must be hard, so I don't expect you and God to do all the work. I just need some help. You know how small Garden is. My best friend, Billy Smith, says all the mommies are either taken or old, like my grandma. There's nothing wrong with Grandma, but her bones ache too much to do neat things like hunt Easter Eggs or climb trees.

"So please, Mommy, can you help me? If you do, I promise I'll be a good boy forever. And I'll even eat those nasty Brussels sprouts Daddy says will make me strong. Even if they make me gag."

He paused again to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything.

"I guess that's all for now. Please, pretty please, think about sending us another mommy. Bye.

"Oh, and Mommy, I love you."

Dr. Honey Calabrese bit her lip against the overwhelming urge to make a u-turn on her future. She couldn't do it. She had to go forward. Or else turn her back on the career that meant more to her than anything else. The career she had mortgaged her future to obtain.

She turned up the volume on the tape deck. Mick and The Stones could drown out anything, even the litany of misgivings coursing through her brain.

Honey had scraped her way first through medical school, then seven more years of grueling internship and residency. Now it was time to pay the piper.

Her lip curled as she whizzed passed another small cluster of houses on this roller coaster of a state highway. Traffic was light. But then, she hadn't expected it to resemble the Cross-Bronx Expressway. There was an occasional shack dotting the side of the road, but most of the houses were typical suburban fare–the occasional Colonial surrounded by uninspired ranch houses–like driving out onto Long Island. The scenery wasn't as bad as she expected…it was simply pedestrian.

With a deep sense of regret, she thought about the excitement, the glamour and the grit of New York City that she'd left behind. She'd put off leaving as long as possible. Taking extra residencies in family practice and emergency medicine had delayed her departure by two years. Saying good-bye to her friends, colleagues and roommates, who had thrown a large going away party for her Friday night, added yet one more day.

Now, though, there could be no more delays. Even though she was a day late, Honey was ready to face her future.

She slowed her car to a stop as she approached the flashing caution light at the intersection of the county road that would take her to her new home. She waited until a heavily laden construction truck flew by then made the left turn between a fast-food place and a small motel.

This is the last of civilization, she thought again, fighting through the urge to turn back. She didn't really have to owe one year of her life to this place. She could easily return to New York. Yeah, and do what? Work for an advertising firm?

Not for the first time, she wished she had gone the route some of her other colleagues had taken. So what if they'd be paying back loans for the first ten years of their careers? No, she'd had to sign up for the Rural Doctor Program.

Who'd have guessed she'd be sent to this scarred, depressed part of the country? It had been a gamble. She was supposed to have missed paying the piper. That's why she'd agreed to be back-up for the first doctor sent to Garden, Virginia. Who'd have guessed he wouldn't even make it through half of his contracted two years of service?

Copyright © 2005 by Karen Troxel