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Aliens, The Other White Meat [MultiFormat]
eBook by E. Michael Fisher & James Clifford Bird
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$5.99 |
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$5.09 |
eBook Category: Science Fiction/Humor
eBook Description: Here's a recipe for cosmic comedy:--Heat one doomed world with a life-searing double sun--Remove a spaceship full of refugees--Add a shipwreck on a small blue planet--Stir in a family of megalomaniacal chicken farmers trying to harness the alien secret of immortality--Blend a crazed Islamic cleric and a crooked Pope with an ambitious self-centered papal envoy and an ex-KGB hit-man--Whip with a drunken prophet, who draws pilgrims by his visions of a feathered Madonna, seen in an oil stain--Beat in a Christian sniper--Sprinkle in a pinch of romance And watch the sparks fly at the Holy Toll Shrine.
eBook Publisher: Whiskey Creek Press, Published: WHISKEY CREEK PRESS, 2005
Fictionwise Release Date: July 2005
Available eBook Formats [MultiFormat - What's this?]: Adobe Acrobat (PDF) [1.7 MB], eReader (PDB) [372 KB], Palm Doc (PDB) [370 KB], Rocket/REB1100 (RB) [327 KB], Microsoft Reader (LIT) [325 KB] - PocketPC 1.0+ Compatible, Franklin eBookMan (FUB) [371 KB], hiebook (KML) [835 KB], Sony Reader (LRF) [422 KB], iSilo (PDB) [305 KB], Mobipocket (PRC) [380 KB], Kindle Compatible (MOBI) [430 KB], OEBFF Format (IMP) [482 KB]
Words: 107087
Reading time: 305-428 min.
Microsoft Reader (LIT) Format: Printing DISABLED, Read-Aloud ENABLED
Adobe Acrobat (PDF) Format: Printing DISABLED, Read-Aloud ENABLED
All Other formats: Printing DISABLED, Read-aloud DISABLED
ISBN: 1-59374-335-1
 
"The cover gave nothing away of the quirky plot contained within the pages, but the 'recipe for cosmic comedy' listed on the back cover said it all. This book was a lot like nothing that I had ever read before ... it's a lot to follow, but the humor in this story is threaded throughout and the sub-plots were quite enjoyable. I particularly liked the twist at the end…I'm not sure if it sets things right, but it was fun getting there. An entertaining tale and an intriguing plot to say the least. It's sure to raise a brow or two."--Shawn P. Madison, The Eternal Night
"Aliens, The Other White Meat is entertaining if you can keep up with the time changes and odd developments. E. Michael Fisher and James Clifford Bird have succeeded in reaching far beyond the sky, morals and religious boundaries in this romp through time and space."--MargeAnna Conrad, Novelspot "This novel is science fiction humor a la Douglas Adams ... definitely slapstick comedy. I think that fans of science fiction humor will love it!"--Jean, Fallen Angel Reviews "So how to summarize Aliens, The Other White Meat? It's an interesting read, an ambitious book that is sometimes funny, always quirky, and exhibits some of the most unique, richly-detailed situations I've ever scraped my eyesight across. I'm left wondering where the hell these guys came up with the idea. Fisher and Bird are talented writers, and I'm interested to read more from them."--Paul Hughes, Silverthought.com "So how to summarize Aliens, The Other White Meat? It's an interesting read, an ambitious book that is sometimes funny, always quirky, and exhibits some of the most unique, richly-detailed situations I've ever scraped my eyesight across. I'm left wondering where the hell these guys came up with the idea. Fisher and Bird are talented writers, and I'm interested to read more from them."--Paul Hughes, Silverthought.com "Aliens, The Other White Meat by E. Michael Fisher and James C. Bird (2005 Whiskey Creek Press, ISBN 1593743343). From the time I opened the first chapter, I was laughing out loud. The authors are two very funny and smart guys--tekkies cursed with a major creative streak that leaves their slide rules and pocket protectors no peace--who have invented this universe of camp and pun that will delight you. If you have any kind of funny bone, you'll enjoy this hefty little read. Reading about Babu and the planet Blithos, one senses a bit of L. Ron Hubbard without the smug sincerity. Fans of Douglas Adams, Kurt Vonnegut, and other absurdians should take a look at the wreakings of Fisher and Bird. Is there any significance in the fact that they are named after two prominent animalia types? This is the sort of book that keeps you thinking, and laughing, and guessing. If anything, this novel shines the flickering yellow flashlight of parody upon the dark undergarments of society and of all that you probably hold holy, and reveals the true sweat-stained lycra-mesh foundations."--John Cullen, Far Sector -- SFFH
Prologue
Countless years ago, at the edge of the universe where light begins, three gods huddled about an inter-dimensional portal trying to observe a distant world they had created long before. Over the eons, they had amused themselves by tinkering with the fate of the planet Blithos and its inhabitants.
"What's wrong with this thing?" complained BaBu, his aged eyes squinting as he peered into the portal. "I can't make out a thing."
GaHoot rapped at the portal's casing with the claws of his right hand. "This thing was working the last time I used it. Maybe we just need more light."
KulKan grinned. "Suppose we smash a comet into the giant gas planet next to Blithos?"
BaBu understood her immediately. "If the comet's large enough, we will spawn a dwarf star."
"Let's do it!" GaHoot agreed with excitement.
The comet's collision brought the core of the gas giant to critical mass, inducing nuclear fusion and creating a dull red star, whose additional light did indeed improve the view in the portal. The three gods watched in horror as the beloved planet of their creation began to dry and wither in the radiance of its two suns.
As BaBu and KulKan consulted on how best to help the Blithians, GaHoot began to cry inconsolably. With each convulsive sob, he became fainter and fainter until all that remained of him were his tears. As these great drops of GaHoot's passion fell, they began to transmute the dark matter that surrounded him into chunks of green mineral that flew off in all directions and contained the salvation of the Blithians.
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