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To Cut a Long Story Short [Secure eReader (recommended)/Microsoft Reader/Adobe]
eBook by Jeffrey Archer
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eBook Category: Mainstream
eBook Description: In To Cut a Long Story Short, New York Times bestselling author Jeffrey Archer delivers an enthralling new collection of short stories. Readers will have a difficult time sorting fact from fiction as each story comes complete with intriguing characters, ingenious plotting and Archer's trademark surprise endings.
From the cleverest of confidence tricks, to the quirks of the legal profession, to the intrigues of love at first sight, Archer keeps listeners guessing at what is truly as it seems to be and what is a hoax, what is real and what is a red herring. His mastery of character and suspense is apparent, each word is necessary and each ending will shock and surprise.
To Cut a Long Story Short is Archer at the top of his form. It is stylish, witty, constantly entertaining, and will captivate listeners who will race through each story to find out how it ends.
eBook Publisher: Harper Collins, Inc./PerfectBound, Published: 2001
Fictionwise Release Date: June 2002
Available eBook Formats [Secure eReader (recommended)/Microsoft Reader/Adobe - What's this?]: SECURE MICROSOFT READER FORMAT [425 KB] - Requires Microsoft Reader 2.1.1 for PCs, or Microsoft Reader 2.2.2 on Pocket PC 2002 handheld devices. Some older Pocket PCs can be upgraded. Learn More., SECURE EREADER (RECOMMENDED) FORMAT [226 KB], SECURE ADOBE FORMAT [1.2 MB], OEBFF Format (IMP) [436 KB]
Secure Adobe: Printing enabled, Read-aloud DISABLED Other formats: Printing DISABLED, Read-aloud DISABLED
Microsoft Reader ISBN: 0060189649 eReader (recommended) ISBN: 0060501774 Adobe Acrobat Reader ISBN: 0060189622

"Archer plots with skill, and keeps you turning the pages."--The Boston Globe

The Expert Witness 'Damn good drive,' said Toby, as he watched his opponent's ball sail through the air. 'Must be every inch of 230, perhaps even 250 yards,' he added, as he held up his hand to his forehead to shield his eyes from the sun, and continued to watch the ball bouncing down the middle of the fairway. 'Thank you,' said Harry. 'What did you have for breakfast this morning, Harry?' Toby asked when the ball finally came to a halt. 'A row with my wife,' came back his opponent's immediate reply. 'She wanted me to go shopping with her this morning.' 'I'd be tempted to get married if I thought it would improve my golf that much,' said Toby as he addressed his ball. 'Damn,' he added a moment later, as he watched his feeble effort squirt towards the heavy rough no more than a hundred yards from where he stood. Toby's game did not improve on the back nine, and when they headed for the clubhouse just before lunch, he warned his opponent, 'I shall have to take my revenge in court next week.' 'I do hope not,' said Harry, with a laugh. 'Why's that?' asked Toby as they entered the clubhouse. 'Because I'm appearing as an expert witness on your side,' Harry replied as they sat down for lunch. 'Funny,' Toby said. 'I could have sworn you were against me.' Sir Toby Gray QC and Professor Harry Bamford were not always on the same side when they met up in court. * * * 'All manner of persons who have anything to do before My Lords the Queen's Justices draw near and give your attendance.' The Leeds Crown Court was now sitting. Mr Justice Fenton presided. Sir Toby eyed the elderly judge. A decent and fair man, he considered, though his summings-up could be a trifle long-winded. Mr Justice Fenton nodded down from the bench. Sir Toby rose from his place to open the defence case. 'May it please Your Lordship, members of the jury, I am aware of the great responsibility that rests on my shoulders. To defend a man charged with murder can never be easy. It is made even more difficult when the victim is his wife, to whom he had been happily married for over twenty years. This the Crown has accepted, indeed formally admitted. 'My task is not made any easier, m'lud,' continued Sir Toby, 'when all the circumstantial evidence, so adroitly presented by my learned friend Mr Rodgers in his opening speech yesterday, would on the face of it make the defendant appear guilty. However,' said Sir Toby, grasping the tapes of his black silk gown and turning to face the jury, 'I intend to call a witness whose reputation is beyond reproach. I am confident that he will leave you, members of the jury, with little choice but to return a verdict of not guilty. I call Professor Harold Bamford.' A smartly dressed man, wearing a blue double-breasted suit, white shirt and a Yorkshire County Cricket Club tie, entered the courtroom and took his place in the witness box. He was presented with a copy of the New Testament, and read the oath with a confidence that would have left no member of the jury in any doubt that this wasn't his first appearance at a murder trial. Sir Toby adjusted his gown as he stared across the courtroom at his golfing partner. 'Professor Bamford,' he said, as if he had never set eyes on the man before, 'in order to establish your expertise, it will be necessary to ask you some preliminary questions that may well embarrass you. But it is of overriding importance that I am able to show the jury the relevance of your qualifications as they affect this particular case.' Harry nodded sternly. 'You were, Professor Bamford, educated at Leeds Grammar School,' said Sir Toby, glancing at the all-Yorkshire jury, 'from where you won an open scholarship to Magdalen College, Oxford, to read Law.' Harry nodded again, and said, 'That is correct,' as Toby glanced back down at his brief -- an unnecessary gesture, as he had often been over this routine with Harry before. 'But you did not take up that offer,' continued Sir Toby, 'preferring to spend your undergraduate days here in Leeds. Is that also correct?' 'Yes,' said Harry. This time the jury nodded along with him. Nothing more loyal or more proud than a Yorkshireman when it comes to things Yorkshire, thought Sir Toby with satisfaction. 'When you graduated from Leeds University, can you confirm for the record that you were awarded a first-class honours degree?' 'I was.' 'And were you then offered a place at Harvard University to study for a masters degree and thereafter for a doctorate?' Harry bowed slightly and confirmed that he was. He wanted to say, 'Get on with it, Toby,' but he knew his old sparring partner was going to milk the next few moments for all they were worth. 'And for your Ph.D. thesis, did you choose the subject of handguns in relation to murder cases?' 'That is correct, Sir Toby.' 'Is it also true,' continued the distinguished QC, 'that when your thesis was presented to the examining board, it created such interest that it was published by the Harvard University Press, and is now prescribed reading for anyone specialising in forensic science?' 'It's kind of you to say so,' said Harry, giving Toby the cue for his next line. 'But I didn't say so,' said Sir Toby, rising to his full height and staring at the jury. 'Those were the words of none other than Judge Daniel Webster, a member of the Supreme Court of the United States. But allow me to move on. After leaving Harvard and returning to England, would it be accurate to say that Oxford University tried to tempt you once again, by offering you the first Chair of Forensic Science, but that you spurned them a second time, preferring to return to your alma mater, first as a senior lecturer, and later as a professor? Am I right, Professor Bamford?' 'You are, Sir Toby,' said Harry. 'A post you have held for the past eleven years, despite the fact that several universities around the world have made you lucrative offers to leave your beloved Yorkshire and join them?' At this point Mr Justice Fenton, who had also heard it all before, peered down and said, 'I think I can say, Sir Toby, that you have established the fact that your witness is a pre-eminent expert in his chosen field. I wonder if we could now move on and deal with the case in hand.' 'I am only too happy to do so, m'lud, especially after your generous words. It won't be necessary to heap any more accolades on the good professor's shoulders.' Sir Toby would have loved to have told the judge that he had actually come to the end of his preliminary comments moments before he had been interrupted. 'I will therefore, with your permission, m'lud, move on to the case before us, now that you feel I have established the credentials of this particular witness.' He turned back to face the professor, with whom he exchanged a knowing wink. 'Earlier in the case,' continued Sir Toby, 'my learned friend Mr Rodgers set out in detail the case for the prosecution, leaving no doubt that it rested on a single piece of evidence: namely, the smoking gun that never smoked' --an expression Harry had heard his old friend use many times in the past, and was in no doubt he would use on many more occasions in the future. 'I refer to the gun, covered in the defendant's fingerprints, that was discovered near the body of his unfortunate wife, Mrs Valerie Richards. The prosecution went on to claim that after killing his wife, the defendant panicked and ran out of the house, leaving the firearm in the middle of the room.' Sir Toby swung round to face the jury. 'On this one, flimsy, piece of evidence -- and flimsy I shall prove it to be -- you, the jury, are being asked to convict a man for murder and place him behind bars for the rest of his life.' He paused to allow the jury to take in the significance of his words. 'So, now I return to you, Professor Bamford, and ask you as a pre-eminent expert in your field -- to use m'lud's description of your status -- a series of questions.' Harry realised the preamble was finally over, and that he would now be expected to live up to his reputation. 'Let me start by asking you, Professor, is it your experience that after a murderer has shot his victim, he or she is likely to leave the murder weapon at the scene of the crime?' 'No, Sir Toby, it is most unusual,' replied Harry. 'In nine cases out of ten where a handgun is involved, the weapon is never recovered, because the murderer makes sure that he or she disposes of the evidence.' 'Quite so,' said Sir Toby. 'And in the one case out of ten where the gun is recovered, is it common to find fingerprints all over the murder weapon?' 'Almost unknown,' replied Harry. 'Unless the murderer is a complete fool, or is actually caught in the act.' 'The defendant may be many things,' said Sir Toby, 'but he is clearly not a fool. Like you, he was educated at Leeds Grammar School; and he was arrested not at the scene of the crime, but in the home of a friend on the other side of the city.' Sir Toby omitted to add, as prosecuting counsel had pointed out several times in his opening statement, that the defendant was discovered in bed with his mistress, who turned out to be the only alibi he had. 'Now, I'd like to turn to the gun itself, Professor. A Smith and Wesson K4217 B.' 'It was actually a K4127 B,' said Harry, correcting his old friend. 'I bow to your superior knowledge,' said Sir Toby, pleased with the effect his little mistake had made on the jury. 'Now, returning to the handgun. The Home Office laboratory found the murder victim's fingerprints on the weapon?' 'They did, Sir Toby.' 'And, as an expert, does this lead you to form any conclusions?' 'Yes, it does. Mrs Richards's prints were most prominent on the trigger and the butt of the gun, which causes me to believe that she was the last person to handle the weapon. Indeed, the physical evidence suggests that it was she who squeezed the trigger.' 'I see,' said Sir Toby. 'But couldn't the gun have been placed in the hand of Mrs Richards by her murderer, in order to mislead the police?' 'I would be willing to go along with that theory if the police had not also found Mr Richards's prints on the trigger.' 'I'm not sure I fully understand what you're getting at, Professor,' said Sir Toby, fully understanding. 'In almost every case I have been involved in, the first thing a murderer does is to remove his own fingerprints from the murder weapon before he considers placing it in the hand of the victim.' 'I take your point. But correct me if I am wrong,' said Sir Toby. 'The gun was not found in the hand of the victim, but nine feet away from her body, which is where the prosecution claims it was dropped when the defendant fled in panic from his marital home. So, let me ask you, Professor Bamford: if someone committing suicide held a gun to their temple and pulled the trigger, where would you expect the gun to end up?' 'Anywhere between six and ten feet from the body,' Harry replied. 'It's a common mistake -- often made in poorly researched films and television programmes -- for victims to be shown still holding onto the gun after they have shot themselves. Whereas what actually happens in the case of suicide is that the force of the gun's recoil jerks it from the victim's grip, propelling it several feet from the body. In thirty years of dealing with suicides involving guns, I have never once known a weapon to remain in the hand of the victim.' 'So, in your opinion as an expert, Professor, Mrs Richards's fingerprints and the position of the weapon would be more consistent with suicide than with murder.' 'That is correct, Sir Toby.' 'One final question, Professor,' said the defence QC, tugging his lapels. 'When you have given evidence for the defence in cases such as this in the past, what percentage of juries have returned a not guilty verdict?' 'Mathematics was never my strong subject, Sir Toby, but twenty-one cases out of twenty-four ended in acquittal.' Sir Toby turned slowly to face the jury. 'Twenty-one cases out of twenty-four,' he said, 'ended in acquittal after you were called as an expert witness. I think that's around 85 per cent, m'lud. No more questions.' Toby caught up with Harry on the courtroom steps. He slapped his old friend on the back. 'You played another blinder, Harry. I'm not surprised the Crown caved in after you'd given your evidence -- I've never seen you in better form. Got to rush, I've a case starting at the Bailey tomorrow, so I'll see you at the first hole, ten o'clock on Saturday. That is, if Valerie will allow it.' 'You'll be seeing me long before then,' murmured the Professor, as Sir Toby jumped into a taxi. Copyright © 2000 by Jeffrey Archer
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