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eBook Category: Romance/Spiritual/Religion
eBook Description: Sometimes you feel not even God can love you. Honoria Sanderson felt that way. Her deeds were so horrible she couldn't admit them to her own parents. There were no do overs in life like there were in kids games. Nothing could erase her sins. Keith Hollister had decided his path was to mirror Paul's. After Honoria had not only turned down his proposal, but left town, it seemed God had meant for him to be alone. Then Honoria returned to the sleepy town they grew up in. Could he heal her hurts? Would it take a miracle? Or just God's Grace?

eBook Publisher: By Grace Publishing/Super Short and Sweet
Fictionwise Release Date: November 2006

3 Reader Ratings:

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Available eBook Formats [MultiFormat - What's this?]: eReader (PDB) [49 KB] , ePub (EPUB) [79 KB] , Rocket/REB1100 (RB) [26 KB] , Adobe Acrobat (PDF) [267 KB] , Palm Doc (PDB) [28 KB] , Microsoft Reader (LIT) [86 KB] , Franklin eBookMan (FUB) [97 KB] , hiebook (KML) [104 KB] , Sony Reader (LRF) [96 KB] , iSilo (PDB) [23 KB] , Mobipocket (PRC) [29 KB] , Kindle Compatible (MOBI) [75 KB] , OEBFF Format (IMP) [43 KB]
Words: 8878
Reading time: 25-35 min.
Microsoft Reader (LIT) Format: Printing DISABLED, Read-Aloud ENABLED
Adobe Acrobat (PDF) Format:  Printing DISABLED, Read-Aloud DISABLED
All Other formats: Printing DISABLED, Read-aloud DISABLED

Honoria Sanderson sat in the little red Civic parked just down the street from her parents' house in Maxville, Missouri. Like a dog with her tail between her legs she'd come crawling home. They had told her it was okay to come, but they had no idea what she'd been, what she'd done. In all her twenty-five years they'd stood beside her, loved her unconditionally. Would that change now? Squaring her shoulders and taking a huge breath, she tried to screw up her courage to make the short drive without turning coward and running away.

The last block to their driveway crept by and the roiling in her stomach intensified. She pulled up the hill and parked in front of the house she'd grown up in. Her mom and dad stepped out on the porch all smiles and Honoria felt worse.

Pasting a smile on her face she climbed out of the car and went to be folded into her father's strong embrace.

"Hi, Daddy."

"Welcome home baby girl."

Honoria fought to keep the tears at bay when her mother's warm hug followed and she placed a kiss on her face. "Well let's go inside, I've got supper all ready. You are hungry aren't you?"

She nodded and her father took her keys, "I'll get your things."

"I don't have a lot, I left most of it behind."

Her mother and father looked at each other but didn't say anything. "I'll get the suitcases after dinner then," her father said and ushered her into the house.

The house hadn't changed. The hardwood floor of the great room, the burgundy reclining sofas, the smell of potpourri, and the Victorian era paintings and knickknacks were welcome sights.

In the dining room, her mother had heaped the table with a spiral ham, sweet potatoes, biscuits and green bean casserole, all her very favorites. Honoria sat at the end of the table and inhaled deeply. Everything smelled wonderful, but she had no appetite.

What was she doing here anyway? Once she told them everything she'd be kicked out, disowned. Honoria brushed the straggling tear away and looked up to see her parents watching her.

"Sorry, it's just so nice to be home again."

It wasn't a complete lie, it was nice to be home; no, it was wonderful. How long would it last?

As they passed her one delicious platter after the other, they chatted about what all had changed since she'd left home six years ago. At first she came home at least twice a year. Then she only came home for Christmas, and then it had dwindled to phone calls. Now after two years she was home, hopefully for good.

Her father said something but Honoria missed it. "Sorry?"

"I said would you like to join us for church this evening?"

Church? The idea sent shivers down her spine. "I think I'd like to just hit bed early. The drive was long and I'm feeling rather tired."

The disappointment on her parents face's stung but she couldn't bring herself to face the people she grew up with in church.

"All right."

After they finished the meal, she rose to clear the table and wash the dishes. Her mom followed her in. "You go relax, I'll take care of all this."

"But Ma, I can help."

"No, go on now."

Her mother gave her a shove so she went to the living room to join her dad. She sat for a few minutes and then picked up her purse.

"I'm going to bring in my stuff so I can get settled."

He stood up and took her keys. "I'll get them for you."

Sighing, Honoria handed the keys to him and followed him out the door. As he gathered her suitcases, she grabbed her travel case and hurried back inside. Walking down the hall, she entered her old bedroom.

The pale purple and white walls with Victorian purple rose border were still in place. Honoria sat on the bed, gently sliding her hand across the pure white comforter. The memories took her back to the day when she and her dad painted the room. It had been a deep pink color with pink shag carpeting; perfect for the eight-year-old she'd been when they'd first moved into the house. After years of feeling like a little girl, her dad and mom decided to let her paint the room for her sixteenth birthday.

Ripping up the carpeting had revealed a lovely but somewhat scarred hardwood floor. While painting the walls she ended up in a small paint fight with her father, her hair had been spotted with the paint and huge drips coated the floor.

After the clean up and scrubbing she and her mother had gone and picked out the border. Her father had grumbled the whole time he was putting it in place. He'd never been fond of wallpaper, not even borders, but after it was up and the floor refinished it had turned out to be the perfect room. When they added the colonial four poster bed, white comforter, pale purple dust ruffle and white curtains she'd felt like a grown up.

Honoria lay down on the bed and closed her eyes; maybe if she willed hard enough she could go back in time and make it all different.

"Baby? Here are your suitcases."

She sat up. "Thanks, Daddy."

After he sat them on the floor and left the room, she hung up her clothes and put away her shoes. The flashbacks to her teen years raced through her mind. Her best friend staying the night, singing to radio and dreaming about when they were grown. The future had seemed so bright back then. Now it was all bleak and dark.

She didn't bother to hide the tears now that she was alone. How could she have allowed herself to slip so far? She turned her back on all she'd known and worst of all she'd turned her back on the one constant that was for everyone, God.

A knock sounded on the door and Honoria wiped her face. "Come in."

"Honoria, we ... you've been crying," her mother said and came to sit beside her. Mom held her close, a worried frown on her face, "You know you can talk about it with me. I love you and want to help you."

"I know Ma, but I just can't, not right now." Pain tightened in her chest and her throat burned as she struggled to keep it all in for just a while longer.

Her mother squeezed her tightly. "There is One who will always listen, all you have to do is talk. His knee-mail always goes through."

Honoria couldn't help but smile, her mother was a huge proponent of what she called knee-mail. Honoria knew her mom was right, but how could she go to God? She had denied Him for so long, how could she dare to ask Him for anything?

Her mother's green eyes studied her face intently. "Are you sure you don't want to go with us?"

She nodded slowly. "I'm sure. I'm going to head for bed before long."

Mom kissed the top of her head and left the room, pulling the door closed behind her.

Honoria heard their voices, unable to make out the words, and then they were gone. She waited for a few minutes and heard the van pull off down the road. Sure they'd left, she opened her travel case and stared into it. She should have left this junk all behind as well. While putting the makeup away a gold and diamond tennis bracelet fell into view.

Picking it up, she clutched it tight in her hand. One of the many reminders of her complete self-degradation; he'd been so smooth, and so convincing. And she fell for it, every lie. Shaking her head, she dropped the bracelet into the garbage can next to the bureau. Carefully arranging her cosmetics and perfumes on the top of the chest, she stood back and looked into the mirror.

The reflection showed a woman haggard and worn, looking far older than almost twenty-six. Honoria ran her fingers through her dull red hair. What happened to the girl she'd once been? The bouncing happy girl who was ready to face life and all its challenges?

She took out a small pill bottle and went for a glass of water. She needed the little sleeping pill, it had been so long since her conscience had allowed her to rest peacefully that she hoped this would live up to its reputation.