You are about to journey into a magical world known as Cigam, or if you like to spell things backward as they do in the Looking-Glass World, Magic. Some say it is flat as a pancake. Others think it is as round as a crystal ball. Perhaps if you traveled to the Nowhere Mountain, where you can see the edge of the world, you could make up your mind as to its shape. There are many strange lands in Cigam. For example, in the Nether Lands, the warriors ride on bicycles; hence they are known as Bikings. In Vampirevania, the ruler is a vampire, attacks by werewolves are an everyday occurrence, and the peasants are always revolting.

Among the many sights you won't want to miss are the great red dragon who guards the Fountain of Youth, the land of The Who where they hate The Whats, the undersea city of Atlantis, and Turkle Troll, the toll taker of the Troll Bridge, who may ask you a riddle or two.

But the most magical of the many lands in this otherworld is the tiny kingdom of Retslu, where most of the stories in this book take place. There you will meet a few of its incompetent kings; Mordrake, an evil sorcerer who owns a fifty-inch crystal ball that shows the future in full color; Ya Nanny, a thief who trouble follows like stalker; Wortisha, the sexiest witch of the continent; the Beast Things who have the heads of animals and the bodies of people; and of course the beautiful Pim, loveliest woman in Cigam. Alas, she is married to a werewolf.

Travel on brave tourist, but be ready to be surprised, enlightened, delighted, and even have your funny bone tickled. Our first port of call in King's Town, the capital city of Retslu, and the home of a future king, Prince Woden.

The two young men had been friends since childhood. At the onset of manhood they both had wild streaks in them. Prince Woden, the son of the king, was a bit haughty and had an eye for the ladies. Knight Noise, the son of a lord, was boisterous, loud and loved adventure. Hence, they spent many hours together either getting into trouble with their pranks, or going far afield looking for a way to expend their overabundant energy.

One afternoon they were having lunch in their favorite outdoor cafe watching fair aristocratic maidens and sweet young peasants' daughters parading along the walkway. Lord Noise said, "We should go into western mountains to hunt. I'd love to bag a chimera or a griffin. Why, with any luck, we might encounter a dragon or two."

"That sounds like a fine idea, but what we really need to do is go on a quest that will impress the young ladies."

"Oh, I'm sure bringing back the head of a dragon or a live chimera would impress them."

Woden thought for a moment. "Perhaps you're right. Come friend, we'll leave this very afternoon." Woden was nothing if not impulsive.

They returned to their respective castles to don light armor, retrieve weapons and pack camping equipment and supplies. They met at the crossroads where The King's Way met Mountain Road and rode west on Mountain Road into the wilds. As they traveled, the road became narrower until they had to ride single file. It wound through densely wooded areas, past bubbling mountain streams, near roaring waterfalls, and by high cliffs with awesome chasms below. The two men sang lustily as they traveled through the wilderness. Soon the sun was low in the sky casting dark shadows. So far they had not spotted any worthwhile prey, only a few deer and bear, but they were after more exotic game.

Finally, Woden said, "We'd better look for a place to camp. It'll be dark soon."

"How about on that ridge? There are caves up there." Noise pointed to where the road took a sweeping switchback around a forested mountain valley.

"Yes, I see. There seems to be a small cabin as well. Just to the left of the caves. Perhaps we can prevail on the occupants to put us up for the night."

There was indeed a small cabin in the area where Woden pointed. Two sisters lived there, Wortisha and Circe. They were young witches, each specializing in her own type of magic. Wortisha was a master of illusion and an enchantress of men. Circe was a dark-eyed beauty with a volatile temper who could perform transformations. There had been a third sister who had lived with them called Latro. But Latro was not quite human. She had six arms and ate human males. After a couple of their boyfriends disappeared mysteriously, her sisters forced her to live underground.

After the two adventurers tethered their steeds to a hitching post, Prince Woden rapped on the cabin door. He was happily surprised when a fair young maiden answered. Now, Woden was a handsome youth, and at first glance the witch and the prince gazed into each other's eyes without speaking. Finally, Knight Noise, who was peering over Woden's shoulder, said, "Miss, we're two weary travelers. We wondered whether we could rent a room for the night."

Circe, who was peering over Wortisha's shoulder, said, "It'll cost you. Do you have silver?"

Meanwhile Woden and Wortisha kept gazing into each other's eyes.

Noise said, "A bit. Shall we say two kopeks for a night's lodging."

Meanwhile Woden and Wortisha kept gazing into each other's eyes.

"I don't know. We're two helpless women, and you're two armed men. You could do anything to us. For taking a big chance like that, we'd need to get at least five."

Meanwhile Woden and Wortisha kept gazing into each other's eyes.

"We'll leave our swords and daggers outside. Two kopeks, three penicks."

Meanwhile Woden and Wortisha kept gazing into each other's eyes.

"Four kopeks, not a penick less."

Meanwhile Woden and Wortisha kept gazing into each other's eyes.

"Three kopecks, five penicks."

"Done. Remove your weapons and enter our humble home."

Noise removed his sword, dagger, crossbow and quiver. After a moment's reflection, he removed Woden's. He placed the weapons in their saddlebags. When he returned, he squeezed past Woden and Wortisha, and bowed to Circe. "I am Knight Noise. My friend is Prince Woden."

"A prince. No wonder Wortisha is so taken with him." She curtsied. "My name is Circe. My sister is Wortisha."

Noise turned around and looked at the pair who seemed so enamored of each other. "How long do you think they'll stay like that?"

Circe shrugged. "Could be a while. This happens often when men call on Wortisha. She's an enchantress. What's unusual is that she seems as mesmerized as he is. Let me show you where you'll stay tonight."

The hut was humble in the extreme. It had a dirt floor covered with straw. The walls were rough logs with mud caulking between them. A couple of chickens and a fat pig wandered about. A bubbling caldron in the fireplace gave off an awful stench. In the rear there was an oaken door that Circe said led into caves she and her sisters used to expand the size of the house. Circe preceded Noise up a rickety ladder to a loft which contained a single porthole-like window, a straw bed, a chamber pot, a bucket of water for washing and little else.

When Noise stuck his head up past the flooring, a large raven hopped about under his nose cawing loudly.

"Lenore," cried Circe, "stop that. He's our guest. Shoo now. Go downstairs."

The raven flew past Noise with a great flutter of wings that almost made him lose his balance.

"Sorry about that. Lenore is Wortisha's pet, but she can be a nuisance sometime."

Noise gazed around at the accommodations. "This is where we're to sleep? For three and half kopeks?"

"Okay, okay. I'll throw in dinner and breakfast. But you're lucky to be able to stay here. We're the only people within ten leagues. And if you were thinking of camping, it's mighty dangerous in these mountains at night."

Noise realized she was right and let himself back down the ladder. Woden and Wortisha were still gazing into each other's eyes. Circe started fussing around the fireplace and the kitchen table, preparing a pork stew. Noise sat down and made small talk with the raven, who it turned out was a witty conversationalist.

When dinner was ready, Noise helped Circe set the table. She tapped Wortisha on the shoulder. "Snap out of it, Sis. Dinner is served."

Wortisha slowly came out of her daze. "It is? We should invite these fine gentlemen to sup with us."

"Already have. In fact I rented the upstairs room to them for the night."

"How nice." Wortisha beamed. "Please come in ... uh..."

"Prince Woden at your service, fair maiden." Woden made a sweeping bow, grabbed her hand and kissed it.

"Oh my, you're a charmer. My name is Wortisha. My sister's name is Circe."

After Noise was introduced again, they all sat down to the pork stew Circe had made, including the raven who perched on the edge of the table and pecked at its bowl. While Wortisha and Woden gazed dreamily at each other across the table, Circe asked Noise, "So, what are you men doing out here in this wilderness."

Noise puffed out his chest. "Hunting for big game. Chimeras, griffins, that sort of thing."

"Big game? Nothing as big as dragons, I suppose."

"Oh, dragons, definitely."

She nudged Wortisha. "Sis, did you hear that. These fellows are hunting dragons."

"Huh? Oh, really? How brave of you, Prince."

Circe said, "Maybe you could do us a little favor?"

"And what may that be?" asked Noise.

"Lately, we've been pestered by dragons that live on Mount Dragon. Perhaps you could go up there and bag one or two. It might discourage their raiding down here."

Woden turned to Noise. "Why this is exactly the sort of thing we were talking about at the cafe. Right Noise? I mean going on a quest to please beautiful women."

Noise looked a little dubious. "Exactly how many dragons are we talking about?"

"Oh, what difference does it make? We'll kill them all. Wortisha and Circe, we pledge on our honor to rid the area of those dragons."

Since Prince Woden had given their pledge, Noise made no other comment. Soon everyone was yawning. The men climbed into the loft and after a few minutes were snoring. Before the sisters retired for the night, Circe remarked to Wortisha, "You seem quite taken with this Prince Woden."

Wortisha got a dreamy look in her eyes. "I believe I've fallen for the bloke."

"He seems to be a charmer. I hope he doesn't break your heart."

A dark look crossed Wortisha's face. "He'd better not." She was not one to be trifled with.

Early in the morning, Wortisha and Circe waved farewell to Woden and Noise as they rode up the steep mountain trail. The sisters had given the adventurers a good breakfast and cast an invulnerability spell on them. They also gave them directions to Mount Dragon. After they left, Wortisha sighed. "I hope they come back safely."

Circe said nothing. She figured they didn't have a chance in hell of returning whole, even with an invulnerability spell, which faded away after a while.

After Woden and Noise had gone a short distance up the mountain, Noise's steed suddenly reared, throwing him off backward with a noise like a dozen pots and pans crashing. A strange-looking serpent with a crest like a cock's comb was crossing the road. Woden quickly dismounted and covered Noise's eyes with his hand, twisted his head around so as not to gaze at the thing and yelled, "It's a cockatrice. Don't look."

Their steeds, however, stared directly at the monster when the serpent raised its head to see what the commotion was. They dropped dead instantly.

Noise, grumbling at being so unceremoniously set on his backside, got to his feet, covered his eyes with a silk cloth Circe had given him, picked up the cockatrice by its tail and flung it into the canyon below. He was saved from almost stepping over the side himself by Woden's quickly pulling him back.

"Bravo, Noise," yelled Woden. "You've saved our lives."

Noise and Woden removed their weapons from the saddlebags and hid the rest of their supplies behind a rock. Before they continued on foot, Woden patted his fallen steed on the flanks, sighed, and with a voice quivering with emotion, said his last farewell. "Good-bye, old friend. You've died in a good cause. Perhaps it was not a battle, but it was a brave death nonetheless. When we return, I'll erect a statue in your honor."

Noise was not so sentimental, but simply shoved his dead horse off the cliff.

The companions plodded onward. Noise remarked, "We must proceed with care. That cockatrice is not the only monster in these hills. This is indeed a dangerous mission."

That night the two men camped far up the mountain. Nevertheless, they had a long way to go to reach the summit where the dragons resided. They decided to take turns guarding the camp. Noise took the first watch. Hours after Woden went to sleep, Noise heard a strange sound, part roar, part bleat and part hiss combined into a single weird call. He peered around and saw Circe emerging from behind a rock. She seemed more beautiful than she had at the cabin, with fine black hair, glowing dark eyes, breasts larger than he remembered and tight clothing on her well shaped body. She smiled at him enticingly.

"Hello. What are you doing here?"

She bleated like a ewe, hissed like a serpent and roared like a lion.

"Something's not right here. Circe wouldn't be making noises like that." Noise cautiously reached out to touch the woman. Her mouth tried to bite his head off. She roared, bleated and hissed with pain as her fangs met the metal of his helmet, and she metamorphosed into her real form--a chimera, a beast with the head of a lion, the body of a sheep and a reptilian tail. Noise ducked as flames shot out the creature's mouth. He quickly drew his sword and ran the monster through. When he was sure the monster was dead, he gutted and skinned it, flinging everything except the skin and head into the valley. The parts he wanted to save he cached in a crevice.

Early the next morning Woden and Noise resumed their travels. Woden noticed a winged creature circling in the sky. It was too large to be a bird other than a roc. He drew Noise's attention to it. "Look, a dragon. Do you think it'll attack?" He drew his sword.

Noise, whose eyes were sharper than Woden's, replied, "That's not a dragon. It's a griffin. Keep your sword handy though. They're known to eat human flesh on occasion."

The griffin slowly circled them, spiraling downward at each turn. It landed twenty paces uphill and awaited their approach. When the dragon hunters were near enough to have a conversation without shouting, the griffin bowed. "What have we here? Two men in metal suits. An unusual sight in these parts. I'll let you pass if one of you will consent to dine with me."

"Get out of the way, griffin," Woden shouted, "or you'll not live another hour." He twirled his broadsword around expertly passing it from hand to hand.

The griffin drew back at this display of swordsmanship. "Uh ... let's not be hasty. I can show you where to obtain a great treasure. I know a valley where money grows on trees."

"Begone, griffin," said Woden. "We know better than to believe one of your ilk. You're as trustworthy as a used unicorn salesman."

Noise advanced toward the creature with his sword held high. "We're not interested in treasure."

"All right, already." The griffin spread its wings and took off. Nonetheless, on its upward path it swerved, swooped down on Woden and tried to carry him away. It was a mistake. The moment Woden was touched by the creature's talons, Noise chopped its head off, and it crashed to the ground. They had another trophy to bring back to the two women.

Woden pounded Noise on his armored back, bruising his palms. "Friend, you're quite a fighter. This is the third time on this trip you've saved my life. You'll be well rewarded when I report this to my father."