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Classifieds [MultiFormat]
eBook by Mike Resnick
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eBook Category: Science Fiction/Humor
eBook Description:  Looking to purchase your very own planet with all the continents in place and utilities included? Bothered by gargantuan pests? Under attack by vast military forces? Check out these classifieds to satisfy all your pan-galactic needs.
eBook Publisher: Fictionwise.com, Published: Alternate Hilarities, ed. Alexandra Zale and Devon Tavern, 1994
Fictionwise Release Date: August 2002
Available eBook Formats [MultiFormat - What's this?]: Adobe Acrobat (PDF) [155 KB], eReader (PDB) [19 KB], Palm Doc (PDB) [4 KB], Rocket/REB1100 (RB) [5 KB], Microsoft Reader (LIT) [69 KB] - PocketPC 1.0+ Compatible, Franklin eBookMan (FUB) [75 KB], hiebook (KML) [70 KB], Sony Reader (LRF) [34 KB], iSilo (PDB) [4 KB], Mobipocket (PRC) [5 KB], Kindle Compatible (MOBI) [33 KB], OEBFF Format (IMP) [12 KB]
Words: 966
Reading time: 2-3 min.
Microsoft Reader (LIT) Format: Printing DISABLED, Read-Aloud ENABLED
Adobe Acrobat (PDF) Format: Printing DISABLED, Read-Aloud DISABLED
All Other formats: Printing DISABLED, Read-aloud DISABLED
 
From the Classified section of the Antares Gazette, Octember 47, 2771 A.D.:
* * * *REAL ESTATE: Fixer-upper! War-torn planet for sale. All major continents in place, unobtrusive bomb craters can be easily landscaped with minimal terraforming. Habitable again in 3822 A.D. All utilities included. Asking 35 million credits. Motivated seller. Write Cjsonti the Destroyer, Box 1013. Idyllic desert island, available on a time-sharing basis. Grundach trees galore, prize-winning methagulum flowers, grow your own pilchhh. Chlorine-breathers only. Price 200,000 kwechners, firm. Box 23. Price Reduced! Yes, the grand old McWhipple Estate on beautiful New Graustark is once again on the market. Own your very own castle, complete with towers, minarets, 3 guest houses, barn, and a brand new cemetery--and this time we guarantee that there are no traces of plague bacillus remaining. Write for our new price! Box 666. Arcturans: Is brooding time approaching? Are you unprepared for 25,000 new offspring in the nursery? Will their loveable, slug-like little bodies all fit in your dining room? Why not consider the Carlsbad Caverns? Short or long-term leases available. Brochure upon request. Contact U.S. Dept. of the Interior, Box 7168.
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