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Wise Follies [Secure Mobipocket/Microsoft Reader/Adobe Reader 7]
eBook by Grace Wynne-Jones
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eBook Category: Romance/Romance
eBook Description:  Why waving goodbye to Mr Wonderful may be the wisest folly of all.... Alice Evans has got a GSOH, GFCH (gas-fired central heating), a cat and a Mitsubishi colour portable. People have told her she can look pretty if she tries. She's thirty-eight and single, so will someone please pass the message on? What Alice thinks she needs is Mr Wonderful. A man like her pottery teacher, James Mitchel, who's warm and wise and gorgeous. But as one long, hot summer disappears with no sign of her snaring the man of her dreams, Alice is forced to consider the alternatives. Should she settle for Mr Mediocre, her dull but dependable ex boyfriend Eamon, and spend the rest of her days trying to like golf? Or could there be another way for a woman to ditch all the longing--and really start living her life?
eBook Publisher: Accent/Accent
Fictionwise Release Date: August 2007
Available eBook Formats [Secure Mobipocket/Microsoft Reader/Adobe Reader 7 - What's this?]: SECURE MOBIPOCKET FORMAT (493 KB], SECURE MICROSOFT READER FORMAT (384 KB] - Requires Microsoft Reader 2.1.1 for PCs, or Microsoft Reader 2.2.2 on Pocket PC 2002 handheld devices. Some older Pocket PCs can be upgraded. Learn More., SECURE ADOBE READER 7 FORMAT (1.0 MB]
Secure Adobe Reader 7: Printing DISABLED, Read-aloud enabled
Other formats: Printing DISABLED, Read-aloud DISABLED
Microsoft Reader ISBN: 97819051709781905170
 
MY NAME IS ALICE Evans. I?m thirty-eight, single, and
very keen on art and gardening. I?m also growing
increasingly fond of my cat and watch far more television
than I used to. I?ve been celibate for over a year and
occasionally find small spiky hairs on my chin. I don?t
think these two things are necessarily connected. I think
my not having sex has more to do with my being rather
disillusioned with men in general. Get me on the subject
of men on a chin-hair day and I can sound as
knowledgeably resigned as any political pundit. This is
because I?ve been waiting to meet my Mr Wonderful for
years now, but he still hasn?t swooped me off on his
white charger. In fact, I think by this stage he?s probably
married or become bisexual or a Buddhist.
In my more realistic romantic moments I remind
myself that men are not the answer anyway. They are just
another question?and a very puzzling one at that.
There?s even a book called Men are from Mars, Women
are from Venus. Certainly many of my romantic
entanglements have a fairly inter-galactic feel about
them. I wish I could summon Captain Jean-Luc Picard
from Star Trek to help me sort them out.
?Love yourself? ? that?s what the self-help books scream
at me. And I?ve been trying to, I really have. But the sex
isn?t great and when I give myself a hug my arms only
reach my shoulders. I know so many lovely women, I
dearly wish I could become a lesbian. The thing is, I?m
just not that way inclined. As you may have guessed, I didn?t expect to be single
at this stage in my life. Neither did my housemate Mira.
We were under the impression that our Mr Wonderful
would just inevitably turn up, as he usually seems to in
films. As time passed and the biological clock started
ticking, we attempted to speed up the screening process.
In an effort to be businesslike we even drew up a long list
of men we would not countenance:
?No men who go on and on about themselves on the
first date and don?t even get your name right.?
?Indeed.?
?No men who wear sunglasses in midwinter without
good reason.?
?Agreed.?
?Or fanatical golfers.?
?Certainly not.?
?Or men with mobile phones perpetually stuck to their
ears.?
?Absolutely.?
?Or limp hand-shakers. Or men who say they?ll call
and then don?t.?
?Or the really really difficult ones.?
?Ah yes ? Alice?s specialist subject.?
?Not any more.?
I suppose you could say we?d got rather picky. We
realized this when we saw the list had grown to cover
almost everyone, and therefore couldn?t be right.
I think one of the reasons I?m still alone is that for
ages and ages I only went out with the ?specialist subject?
Mira referred to: difficult men. They seemed to draw me
to them like magnets. If there was a difficult man in the
room I?d find him. Obsessive meditators, alcoholics,
workaholics, arrested developers, brilliant nerdy types
with unfashionable sweaters ? I sensed their misty sadness and frayed longings before we even spoke. I
looked into their big bewildered eyes and saw my own.
They were different. Broken in some way. They wouldn?t
drag me blithely to their bonny beaming mothers and
announce, ?Here?s Alice. You?ll love her. She?s just like
us.? There was no ?Us? they could refer to. Unless, of
course, they were married. I think what I hoped was that
we could be mixed up together and this would...
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