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Fiddler on the Make [Secure Microsoft Reader]
eBook by Peter Kerr
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eBook Category: Mainstream/Humor
eBook Description:  When the sleepy Scottish village of Cuddyford is colonised by well-heeled retirees and big-city commuters, Jigger McCloud, a Jack-the-lad local farmer with a talent for playing the fiddle and an eye for the ladies, isn't slow to make a quick buck at their expense. Life seems rosy for Jigger and his oddball-but-loveable family, until he tries his scams on a mysterious foreign millionaire, who arrives on the scene with plans to develop the area in ways that appeal neither to Jigger nor his milch cow incomers. The folk of Cuddyford, native and otherwise, promptly close ranks. Comic shenanigans, quirky characters and sinister ploys abound, and it's Bert, Jigger's scruffy little hamburger-craving dog, who turns out to be the hero of the piece as the McClouds and their beloved Cuddyford teeter on the brink of disaster.
eBook Publisher: Accent/Accent
Fictionwise Release Date: November 2007
Available eBook Formats [Secure Microsoft Reader - What's this?]: SECURE MICROSOFT READER FORMAT (470 KB] - Requires Microsoft Reader 2.1.1 for PCs, or Microsoft Reader 2.2.2 on Pocket PC 2002 handheld devices. Some older Pocket PCs can be upgraded. Learn More.
All formats: Printing DISABLED, Read-aloud DISABLED
Microsoft Reader ISBN: 9781905170692
 
JIGGER MCCLOUD HAD NEVER lived in a street in
the entire forty years of his life, yet he was as
streetwise as an alleycat, and with morals to match.
Or so it had been said?
Bert, Jigger?s dog and regular companion, had
probably been a wire-haired fox terrier in his
younger days, when his amorous exploits had been
rumoured to rival those of his master. But now he
was merely an ageing, shaggy mutt with a touch of
arthritis in the leg joints, partial deafness in one ear
and total silence in the other. And, as if that weren?t
enough, he?d developed a fat behind, resulting from
too much sitting about in Jigger?s truck eating
Yorkie Bars. This latter pastime had also
contributed to the rotting of his teeth, which, in turn,
had rendered his doggy breath as sweet as the
contents of a fishmonger?s trashcan on a warm
summer?s evening.
Yet Bert?s eyes were still as bright and alert as a
pup?s, and his libido could also still be rated (for his
age) as Don Juan Class A. For even if he wasn?t as
fast on his feet as he used to be, he had never lost
his uncanny knack of knowing in advance when any
lady dog within a five-mile radius was due to come
on heat ? probably even before the lady herself did.
So, Bert would always be at the relevant back door,
all spruced up and ready for action, well before any
of the neighbourhood competition had even had a
long-distance sniff of the pleasures that were about
to come on offer.
?He must keep a secret diary somewhere,? was
all Jigger could offer by way of explanation for this
phenomenon, which had turned Bert into something
of a legend in his own twelve-year lifetime. Also, it
had made him the proud father of legions of little
springer spaniels, beagles and Border collies ? all of
a semi-wire-haired strain, of course. Bert?s choice of
female companionship, it should be noted, had been
limited to these few locally-popular, if unexotic,
breeds following a nasty experience he?d had while
attempting to mount a particularly attractive Afghan
Hound damsel while still in his prime. His wellthought-
out technique for overcoming the problem
of the obvious height difference between himself
and the leggy temptress was to jump down on her
from the henhouse roof. So far so good. But, as we
know, the best-laid plans (or, in this case, bestplanned
lays) of dogs and men gang aft a-gley. In
Bert?s case, disaster struck when he missed the
target and became stuck with his dangly bits
rammed up the rusty spout of a long-discarded
watering-can.
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