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Alpha Within [MultiFormat]
eBook by Mima
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eBook Category: Erotica/Romance
eBook Description: Luna was the answer to Dar's prayers. Her fertility skills would save his Clan. That she was his mate was something that only made her claiming that much more perfect. Powerful and beautiful, her body sang for him. But he rushed her. He offered all of himself, baring his soul, and she stood in silence. Unable to comprehend the rejection, everything fell apart. Dar accepted Luna's magic, even knowing her past actions damned her as darkmage. He could take her from calm to orgasm with a twist of his bossy fingers. She trusted him, a leader of powerful warriors. But he rushed her. A man like him couldn't comprehend how very alone she'd been, for so very long. He offered her something so precious and rare, she didn't recognize it for what it was until it was too late. They're two wounded souls, but perfect for each other. One so tired of carrying the burden of a dying Clan. One so tired of hiding and running. Now they have to face the pain neither meant to deal to the other. Shame and guilt are heavy bedfellows. Enemies within the Clan and without gather to nip at them. Dar's Snowcat only understands that their mate is unclaimed. Somehow, Luna has to overcome her fear of her man's other nature. Because if she's going to take her place at his side, she has to master the Alpha Within.
eBook Publisher: Atlantic Bridge/Liquid Silver Books, Published: 2008
Fictionwise Release Date: June 2008
Available eBook Formats [MultiFormat - What's this?]: Adobe Acrobat (PDF) [995 KB], eReader (PDB) [212 KB], Palm Doc (PDB) [200 KB], Rocket/REB1100 (RB) [179 KB], Microsoft Reader (LIT) [203 KB] - PocketPC 1.0+ Compatible, Franklin eBookMan (FUB) [223 KB], hiebook (KML) [483 KB], Sony Reader (LRF) [265 KB], iSilo (PDB) [165 KB], Mobipocket (PRC) [208 KB], Kindle Compatible (MOBI) [261 KB], OEBFF Format (IMP) [279 KB]
Words: 62562
Reading time: 178-250 min.
Microsoft Reader (LIT) Format: Printing DISABLED, Read-Aloud ENABLED
Adobe Acrobat (PDF) Format: Printing DISABLED, Read-Aloud ENABLED
All Other formats: Printing DISABLED, Read-aloud DISABLED
ISBN: ISBN 978-1-59578-402-5
 
Chapter One Dar stood nude in the stone arch entrance to the lair. Laughter echoed from the lounge, soothing him. He could not laugh with them this night, but their common joy grounded him. His feet did not feel the ice that coated the rocks, worn smooth from generations of Clan. The cold chafed his pale skin ruddy, as it had ever since he was a child. He ached with the weight of the coming conversation. It was time to put his plan in motion. Even though it meant leaving these people, his people. The Clan he lived for. He'd killed for them. He'd fight for them. Evon came chuckling, also nude. Dar lay his hand on Evon's shoulder. A claim, a reassurance. He slid his hand up and gently gripped the back of the powerful man's neck. They nodded to each other. When they dropped to the ground, both wore their fur. Come roam, Snowcat said to his Shield. The other cat rolled, showing his belly. Snowcat snorted, and led the way. The moon was bright. At its brightest, every shapeshifting Trux in the wild lands of Vladaya knew their lives could change. This was the night the spiritmages danced through the adopted women. Tomorrow morning was when the lucky few to be matched were summoned to meet their potential mate. Who would face the emotional ordeal of mate choice tomorrow? For the eighty-ninth time, Dar wondered if he would be one of the men summoned to present himself as a mate choice. His yearning never faded. He already anticipated the pang of sorrow at not being summoned on the morrow. The sorrow was acceptable. But every bright moon, as he dreamed of being matched to a rare woman who had volunteered to leave the Cities and come to his people, he also remembered his father's lesson. He first Changes at sixteen, very early for their people. The joy of meeting his beastspirit is one of the happiest days of his life. The paid women go from unimportant, annoying guests, to fascinating within a week. They smell delicious. He's hard all the time. His father hands him a pack one morning. They travel deep into the mountains. They go so deep he loses the way home. This has never happened before. He is afraid. Wordlessly, his father lies flat on an icy ledge and inches to a view. He does the same. Below them is a den, and lounging before the opening, licking massive paws, is a male Snowcat. The tufted ears, the silver eyes, the clouded pelt of gray and black with white tummy. He is magnificent, but he isn't a true animal. He is one of them, a Trux. Horror zings through Dar's brain. Living outside Clan and Council, this is a rogue. A waste their Clan cannot afford. That night his father tells him it is Uncle, who is dead to them. How the warrior lost the fight for hope. Not enough women, and if there were, no babies. It made a man want to give up. If a man gave up, the Snowcat survived. When nothing was left, the beastspirit took them. "This is your first and most important lesson, son. Focus on hope, for it is what drives our honor. Believe you will have a family. Find a way to make that family. For without a family, without hope for one, your beastspirit will fight you endlessly. A warrior should not live at war with himself." Dar remembered, and whispered a pledge to his personal honor. He ruled with Snowcat. Snowcat did not rule him. He had hope. He did. It was why he was leaving, to turn the hope into truth. The two strongest warriors in the Clan moved nearly as one. Dar was Alpha. His beastspirit was the source that every warrior connected to. Evon was his Shield, his second-in-command, and the only other alpha class beastspirit to be trusted in the Hollow, the Clan's home. They were at one with the landscape, bound by love and respect to it and each other. They leapt over crevasses dozens of bodylengths deep. They bounded up slippery, jagged rock face. They sprinted along icy drifts. When they made the ridge that overlooked the narrow, frozen lake, Dar shifted to man form, standing tall. Evon followed, crouching on his haunches next to him as Dar stretched his arms high. The night was cloudless and cold in a crisp, bone-cutting way, but he didn't feel it despite his lost fur. Carrying Snowcat inside his soul made him strong. He breathed deeply of the pine air. He would ease into this difficult discussion. "I can't believe we've been bonded for only three months. I feel you are my brother, my partner in shepherding the Clan." "It's taken me that long to forget Cal taking me to the northern wastes and beating the crap out of me for days. All to reach his big announcement: 'You'll do.' All that for a 'You'll do.' It was such a letdown." Dar knew Evon chafed and doubted his worth in the position. The Clan was so small, he'd been the only choice. True, Teke could have taken up the role, but he'd already forged a life for himself at the Council's lair in River Mountain. "I'm saying you more than 'do.' You're at my back. Now that Cal is no longer Shield, he's keeping himself scarce down near Seventh City. I'm very glad I didn't lose you." Every Clan had to face the bitterness of the instinct that drove their best into exile. There could be only two. The others left for the good of the Clan. Evon had been on the verge of leaving for River Mountain himself. No matter how much the man loved his Alpha, at twenty, Evon had matured enough that the grating need of any alpha class warrior to challenge another had threatened to overwhelm his will. Dar was grateful the man had accepted the Shield testing. He would have missed him if Evon banished himself. "You love this land." Dar's voice was as soft as the mist of his breath. "Yes, Alpha. My bones ached at the thought of having to leave." Dar agreed, his gaze skimming the well-known silent pines, the shadowy cliffs, the gleaming ice of the lake. Still, the man would have left his home, worse, the home of his beastspirit, all to keep from challenging the Clan Alpha. All to honor him. "Evon. You have done well in your first months with me. I miss Cal, he was a tie to Karsen..." here Dar's voice broke, and Evon leaned his shoulder against Dar's leg, "--but I feel you are the Shield I was meant to have." Karsen had been their prior Alpha. He'd chosen to step down a few years ago at the age of sixty-eight. Cal had stepped aside as his Shield for what everyone had expected to be a ceremonial challenge. Karsen had shocked everyone by hamstringing his expected replacement, Hab, after violently eating two of his fingers. Hab had withdrawn his challenge, submitted. Then Karsen fought Dar. And that time he hadn't fought to wound. Dar had had no choice in the end. Karsen had died hard. Blood so thick in his fur it soaked into his skin. The Clan had pulled in tight. Everyone had grieved, but their confusion over their prior Alpha's decision had taken second place to their fear for him. Dar hadn't handled it well at first. His beastspirit had loved the man more than his own father. The guilt and rage still threatened to cloud his human eyes. "Neither of us wanted this." Dar rested his hand on Evon's head. Even though his Shield's body was warm, the night was bitter enough that his hair was cold. "True, Alpha." Frustration boiled over. "Fuck that! Stand up, Evon!" Dar's fist tightened in Evon's thick hair and pulled up. Evon rose with a spring of surprise. "Alpha?" Dar shoved him hard. The icy crest they stood on was covered in an inch of snow granules the consistency of sand. Evon pinwheeled over the heights. Lurching, he caught his balance, staring wide-eyed at Dar. "We're partners, man! I need a friend, a helpmate, not a bootlicker. You're always putting yourself below me, coming at me from the side." It was a gesture of caution and respect in the cats. "I'm sick of being treated like crystal. I'm the Snowcat. The Clan sang in me after Karsen died, and they're mine now. All forty-fucking-four of them!" He whirled away, his light brown hair looking silver in the moonlight where it lay on his chest. Angrily, he kicked at the snow until the crest clattered away in a jagged piece. Both men watched it tumble and smash away down the cliff. "Ours. They are ours, Evon. Cal is no longer my Shield, and I need you to be more than a shadow." Evon rubbed his scalp. His blood red hair looked shadowy in the dark. "All right. You are my Alpha. You've also been like my big brother all my life." They were only three years apart. Dar reminded himself to take a slow breath. Evon was only twenty, younger than he when he became Alpha. Younger than when he had to rip his old Alpha to pieces. Dar sighed, squatting. Neither of them felt the chill air deeply, but sitting their privates in ice while in human form wasn't something even a Snowcat did. "I know. I just ... I've been Alpha for two years now and nothing has changed. I've reviewed all the matings, all the paid women ... I can find nothing. Neither can our bodymages. The Snowcat only paces and screams when I meditate on it. Two births, man, in twenty years. Only one new mating ... I have to petition the Council. I want to do the research myself. I need your help." The silence stretched out. Karsen had refused the Council's offer of help two generations ago. Dar's grandfather had fought bitterly with him about it. There were eleven animal Clans among the Truxet. If something drastic wasn't done soon, within a generation, maybe two, there would only be ten. "Karsen was too proud, Dar. His pride was selfish. Selfish when he wouldn't ask for help from all our people, selfish when he wouldn't just submit to you." Dar looked over at him sharply. Evon strode to him, offered him his hand. Dar clasped his forearm and stood. He was getting used to Evon now looking him straight in the eyes. He'd really reached maturity this past year, in height and mind. They stood on that dark, cold crest, committed. They were going to stop this Clan's slow death. It is the first time he ever saw his father cry. He'd seen his father mourn grandfather, and when he was grievously wounded. There were no tears then. But in the darkness, the twelve-year-old boy's cat eyes see his father huddled on the bed, his mother curving over him. Both of them give deep, wrenching sobs. Father's strong arms clutch her waist, his face twisted into a mask of pain. Uncle's baby was born dead. All those long months, and it was dead. Like nearly every other baby in his Clan. He is tired of the tears in the night. Shaking, the boy vows this is going to stop. He is going to stop this. Now he was about to fulfill that childhood vow. With Evon at his side, they would change this. Love for this warrior swelled through him. No more tears in the night. "I'll come visit every week. The ghosting has grown very bad, Evon. Be on guard." Ghosting is what the men called the insatiable yearning for children. It made the warriors' beastspirits volatile. "I'll keep them safe. Train, maintain, scout, defend. I've been doing it all my life, and I'm ready." He watched as the new Shield settled the burden on his shoulders. He knew this man's honor went soul deep. Though young, he could not be any truer. Their tribe was waiting. Desperately waiting. The unmated for mates, while they hoped wildly that a child could come from the paid women. The mated for children who would live. If Dar was going to abandon them to stay at River Mountain, the seat of the Clan Council, he would find an answer. Somehow, he'd find help. * * * *Jana was well aware of the man watching on the roof. She hadn't negotiated the humid air of Third City as a woman's bodymage for the last four years without being street savvy. Her work often took her into the night. At twenty-three, she was experienced enough not to be cocky. Everyone thought she was a respectable birth specialist. Only a few knew the truth of her heart's work. A few like the women she approached now. The man made no particular secret that he was there, standing tall in the green-misted night air. He was clearly watching over the women waiting in the corner garden. This was a working neighborhood, and all were tucked away in their beds at this late hour. They had the bench and the spattering fountain to themselves. An unlikely pair, Jana thought. One was average height, just a bit shorter than herself. She had dark hair braided severely back. Her face was razor sharp, and as she turned her head in the magelight, silver scars flashed at her temple, cheek, mouth, chin. She was a slender reed, ready to sway and move at the slightest movement. That one's a fighter. That one's a lover. The petite woman had a curvy rump and generous breasts. She had tossed her cloak over the back of the bench and her pure white hair had nothing to do with age. Her clothes were high-class skinlicker that shouted, "Look at me." She was bouncing her leg in a jittery, impatient way, gnawing on her full bottom lip. "Good evening. I am Jana." Striding forward, Jana came up to them. "Hello!" The blonde jumped up and hurried forward. "What happened to you?" The brunette followed close behind, frowning. Jana knew what they saw--a plain, frumpy woman in rumpled clothes stained with blood, reeking of sweat. "This is the fruit of that which you seek." A woman screaming in a wash of blood. Hours later, her body dead, they cut out the child. Its cries are weak, compared to a steady moaning. Her moaning, a twelve-year-old standing in the corner. The bodymages hand the infant to the father. "Thank you, Father, thank you," the man sobs. He praises the Skyfather as his butchered, tortured helpmate's corpse lies cooling. She could have, should have stopped this. This is going to stop. She is going to stop this. Shaking off the memory that drove her, Jana focused on the pair again. The blonde beauty shook her hand and stood back while the brunette did the same. The blonde still looked perplexed so Jana added, "It was a boy." "Oh! How wonderful. Congratulations. I mean, I know it's not yours, but you helped. Will you help me? Us?" She reached out and hooked arms with the brunette. "I'm Freezha, and I want a baby. This is KarRa and she doesn't. At least for now." "Of course I'll help. First, you'll need to explain the unexpected guest." She gestured toward the watching presence on the roof. "Oh, that's just KarRa's mate." Freezha slapped her hand over her rosebud mouth. "Mate?" Jana's mind began moving like the wind. She had to get out of here as fast as possible. "As in Beast mates? Oh. I'm sorry, but I won't..." "Please! Do you know how long it took us to convince them to let us come?" She stepped forward, beautifully beseeching. "We know City mages aren't supposed to do Truxet work without High Council negotiations." KarRa's voice was low and steady, her eyes direct. "We also know you're trying to prevent night whispers about your late night private meetings. Bodymages and Spiritmages alike forbid what you do." Silence rang in the night. "Is that a threat?" Jana's voice betrayed her mix of shock and anger. "It's truth." KarRa shrugged. "No one in all the Cities is doing what you're doing here. I can't believe the women have managed to keep it as quiet as they have. We support that effort. We'll pay for our services, and as far as you're concerned, we were two women who wanted a secret appointment because of our husbands. Just do for us what you've done for dozens of others." Silver eyes met dark as they stared at each other. Finally, the silver eyes looked away. Jana whispered, "I m-might not be able to help, Freezha. If the fertility problem is in the man, as I'm fairly sure it is in the Truxet, it's him I'd need to see." "Well, check me first, just to make sure." Freezha stepped closer. "Let's go over to the bench." Jana was shaking. She put her hands in her pocket, hunching her shoulders against the stare from the watcher. A Trux warrior watching over two adopted women. She should leave now. This would never end well. "Please, sit. I'd like to do KarRa first because that's easier for me. I'm just going to lay my hand on you. You won't feel anything." "I have a question." "Of course." "Will I still bleed?" "Yes. You just won't ovulate this month." "Can you make this permanent?" Finally, a woman's blood seeped from her sixteen-year-old body. She curls in her bed and cries, for she knows it means her body prepares for a baby. Her mother's shadow cuts across the light of the moon. "Sweetling. Shhhhhh. Tell me." Her voice is firm, as always. "I'm not a child! I'm a woman! Mother..." Her sobs choke her as she tries to swallow them down. "Mama, I bleed. I will not have a child, Mama. I will not." "Janny. I know. I see it in your eyes as you study. Your decision is your own." She sighs. "Perhaps time will change it." Her capable hands smooth tangled auburn locks. After she calms, and lies exhausted by her sorrow, the woman asks, "Why not, Janny?" There is a tiny plaintive note, a personal sorrow, in her tone. "All that pain. All that worry and work and planning. Their life is never the same. It's never their own again. Everything that they dreamed is set aside. Parasites!" Startled, the woman's hand hesitates in its stroking. Laughter bursts from her. "Oh, my little parasite. That you could see the joy of hosting your greedy self." Cross, infuriated at her humor, the girl rolls over, giving her mother her back. "I will fight this. I will never have a child." "Ah, yes. The joy," the woman murmurs. Jana searched the brunette woman's eyes. She didn't see the calm, core-deep certainty she knew herself. "You're not ready. If you and your mate stand before me and look me in the eyes, I'll reconsider." "It is my choice." "Not after you bound yourself to a Trux." This time the dark eyes looked away first. KarRa nodded jerkily. There was no arguing against the common knowledge that Beasts, who called themselves Trux, were baby-obsessed. When you life-mated to a Beast, children were a given. Jana leaned down and lay her hand on the woman's muscled abdomen, under her simple loose shirt. An odd leather glove on KarRa's hand caught her eye. It was deeply scored all over with pale slash marks. A moment of concentration, and it was done. She let out a shaky breath. She was more tired from the two births today than she had thought. "Do you have my payment? If you want to remain anonymous, don't leave a deposit at my window." KarRa held out a pouch. "For both of us." Jana shook her head. "Let me see what I can do for Freezha first." She lay her hand on the smaller woman's stomach, which was conveniently bared in a midriff top. Surprised curiosity lit up her tired brain. "There's ... you're..." Without thinking, Jana knelt between the women so she could focus better, putting both hands on the blonde's stomach. "What is this? You're about to ovulate, but your uterus..." "Ummm. Just, you know, do the egg thing. Can you do it?" Jana sat back on her heels. "You have already begun to ovulate. Your time is within a day. You don't need me." "I do." The deep, rumbling voice behind her made her jerk. Her mind scrambled at how close he stood. She hadn't heard him coming. KarRa stood and he sat down in her place, reaching out and linking hands with Freezha. Massive, muscled, bald, his black eyes were completely flat and cold as they looked at her. His tongue flicked out and she jerked again. It had been like a snake's, long and thin, fast. "You have done this for other men. Do it for me. You will be paid well. Your house needs a roof." Jana swallowed. There was no room for disagreement or even conversation in that voice. Looking wildly at the bench slat in front of her, she let her mind race with scenarios for getting away. Then she mentally smacked herself into reality and tried to position the consequences for doing this. It was no use. She was too stunned, too trapped. She had to clear her throat before she could say, "Please undo your pants. I'll need to touch your scrotum." Freezha giggled. He stared at Jana for so long she thought she'd get out of it due to his pride. Then he shifted his hips and undid the laces, widening his legs as his front seam opened. She was surprised to see he had no pubic hair. His cock was plump and thick, the length of her hand. Jana put one hand on the bench in front of her. She needed support for this. She reached out a hand and awkwardly delved into his leathers, avoiding his penis. She tried not to poke or pinch his sensitive skin. Swallowing, she scooped under the large, soft globes gently, hoped her palm wasn't sweaty, and concentrated. She frowned. "I am not fertile?" The voice was mostly calm, but she caught the disturbed note. "Close. Very close. But ... let me..." She fell back into concentration. The bed was low, the walls flowing gauze. Two men, neither of them Vyur, rolled with the woman she recognized as Freezha in a tangle of limbs. Everything she'd ever heard said that no Trux would ever tolerate sharing his mate. They were entirely possessive. What was this? Pride, concern, pleasure. Freezha was being soothed by his two best friends, Kel and Krisk. Kel was at her generous breasts, suckling with hollowed cheeks. Krisk was torturing her by refusing to move more than a half inch in or out. Jana struggled with the vision, but couldn't get out. Mouths licking, teeth scoring, hands molding ... The two men were at the bottom of the bed, drowsy, exhausted. This heat had gone on twice as long as any other, and they were empty. Freezha's voice was hoarse from screaming, demanding. He was fucking her from his knees on the floor, her legs draping off the mattress. She'd been passive for the last several minutes, but was winding up again, finding the energy to writhe. Her hands lifted large breasts, her thumb rubbing a faintly bleeding bite. Letting one breast fall to the side again, her fingers worked a tiny nipple, rubbing it hard while the other hand held the flesh firm. He increased his speed, decreased his stroke length. His balls were so tight. He had to fight through and find the ability to come again. She needed it. Then the little brat lifted that delicious breast up high on her chest, raised her head and kissed herself. She let him see her tongue twine around it, her teeth bite hard, her lips close and suck. It was the first time she'd tried that all night. She knew it unleashed him. His hips powered harder, rocking her. "The other one. Do the other one." His demand was mostly growl but she laughed, and switched. This one she licked delicately, little teasing flicks. "Vyur, this is it. I can feel it. I want it. Our baby. Our little guy. No more ghosts, Vyur. I want every drop of come in your balls." He went blind, violent with lust. His hands crushed her hips as he used his full strength to drive his cock deep. He felt her cap, but pushed deeper anyway, forcing himself in farther. The come burned. He screamed. Her spirit wrapped around him, sent him flying. The two of them were alone, kissing gently on the bed, his large hand spread low across her belly ... Jana struggled to pull herself away. It was always harder with the happily married men. The love called to her. She ached. His hand drifted lower, finger sliding into her lips to rest on her clit. Cherished. Jana felt like she was drowning. GET OUT! she told herself firmly. Her cream always smelled like peace... Jana struggled to control her gasping, slow her galloping heart. She kept her eyes squeezed shut. You will not cry, she chanted against her burning eyes. She came back. Her knees ached, as did her back. Her hand holding his balls was burning hot. He was still, watchful. Her face flamed. Freezha was petting her other hand, murmuring, "It's all right. Breathe, Jana." Jana forced herself to return her concentration to the task at hand, dreading being pulled into another vision. The living sperm was already at the top. She'd done what she could, despite the vision. She withdrew her hand from his warmth. "Wait at least twelve hours before you come, sir, to make sure Freezha's egg has dropped. I think it will work." "OH! Thank you!" The tiny person packed a wallop in Jana's shaky state, almost knocking them both over as she dove onto Jana to give her a hug. "You have such a gift! Thank you so, so much!" The man stood, lacing his pants. He caught Freezha easily as she bounced up and leapt at him, wrapping her arms around his head as she kissed him passionately. Jana hastily looked away. Her breathing was still too fast. The man murmured with KarRa. She heard coins. They walked away swiftly. Or rather, he did, carrying her. She knew they'd be far from the City within the hour. Beasts could sift, leaping great distances. Their magecraft was well beyond that of even the Mage High Guild. "Come on, I'll walk you home. You're in rough shape." She accepted KarRa's hand of steel and dragged herself upright. Her knees shivered but held. "Thanks. I ... thanks. It's not far." The woman was silent company the few blocks to Jana's little compound. Her shop below, her home above, and a room to rent above that. One room wide as most in the City were. Jana was grateful for KarRa's capability, as she couldn't have stopped a child from knocking her over now. Letting herself in, she looked back down the street at the retreating woman. A shadow came silently out of the night, wings spread in a heart-stopping silhouette. The woman didn't pause her stride, holding up her arm as the giant bird settled on her gauntleted fist. They vanished into the shadows.
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