"I'm sorry," the clerk said. She kept one hand on the till and the other on the box of detergent. She looked with doubt at the money in his hands. "I don't think we take that stuff."
"What do you mean, you don't think you take this stuff?" Max said. "This is money. What's wrong with money?"
"Like I said, I don't think we take that."
"Oh, come on," said Max. "Listen, I came here to buy this, and I happen to have cash on hand. Everyone knows what cash is, right? See? This is just a little more than the amount of the total--I've got six dollars here, and you'll give me fifteen cents change." He felt like he was explaining to a chimpanzee how to eat bananas.
She beckoned to a tall man who appeared instantly at Max's side, hands resting in the pockets of his green apron. The name of the store shined in self-lit white across his front: Lucky Power Save! Groceries! Lickety-Quick Service! Instant Checks & Credit Cards!
"Mr. Green," the clerk said, "we don't take this stuff, do we? What if it's fake?"
"Well, well," said Mr. Green, taking the cash from Max's hand with spidery fingers. "This is a little unusual, isn't it?" He held the bills close to his eyes and examined both sides. "Well. Go ahead and take these, Julie. Just be sure to get his credit card and driver's license, and put the numbers on the back of the bills. And initial them."
"Thanks, Mr. Green."
Mr. Green arched one eyebrow at Max before marching off to another part of his emporium. Julie looked at Max expectantly.
"You mean you won't just take them?" Max said. "This is money, for goodness' sake!"
"Well, it might be money," Julie said, screwing up her lips, "but we've got to have a credit card number. You have a credit card?"
"No."
"Well, then, what about your driver's license? I suppose if we just had that number--"
"I walked here today. I don't have my driver's license. You want my mother's phone number? I can give you that!"
"Now, now, I'm just trying to be reasonable. We don't need anyone's phone number."
"You're trying to be reasonable? I'm trying to buy detergent so I can do laundry. Isn't it your job to sell me some? I have a date tonight! Will you please take this perfectly good-as-gold, cold cash from me? It's money. You know what money is, don't you?"
"I'm sorry, but if you don't have a credit card or driver's license, we won 't be able to take your cash."
"Wha--"
)
Max, trying to get ready for a date, discovers his cash is no good, in a world gone crazy for proxies, fakes, and imitations. Even his date...
