Click on image to enlarge.

	Regular				Club
You Pay:	$0.69				$0.59

eBook Category: Fantasy/Humor
eBook Description: A small-time swindler from Scottsdale finds himself in hell, and is just about fed up with it. The heat, hard labor, and lousy food is bad enough, but the endless parade of gorgeous over-sexed demons keeps his tortured mind on pleasures of the flesh he can't satisfy ... An adventure of familiar characters and run-of-the-mill sinners await as he hitches a water ski ride across the river Styx to El Diablo's palace--where he intends to confront The Big Guy …

eBook Publisher: Fictionwise.com, Published: Fictionwise, 2001
Fictionwise Release Date: August 2001

231 Reader Ratings:

Great	Good	OK	Poor

Available eBook Formats [MultiFormat - What's this?]: eReader (PDB) [41 KB] , ePub (EPUB) [101 KB] , Rocket/REB1100 (RB) [14 KB] , Portable Document Format (PDF) [119 KB] , Palm Doc (PDB) [14 KB] , Microsoft Reader (LIT) [121 KB] , Franklin eBookMan (FUB) [86 KB] , hiebook (KML) [112 KB] , Sony Reader (LRF) [70 KB] , iSilo (PDB) [12 KB] , Mobipocket (PRC) [15 KB] , Kindle Compatible (MOBI) [57 KB] , OEBFF Format (IMP) [24 KB]
Words: 4262
Reading time: 12-17 min.
Microsoft Reader (LIT) Format: Printing DISABLED, Read-Aloud ENABLED
Portable Document Format (PDF) Format:  Printing DISABLED, Read-Aloud DISABLED
All Other formats: Printing DISABLED, Read-aloud DISABLED

I lost all interest in sex after I died.

Even worse luck, I still had my appetite. After all those years of counting calories, you figure at least death will put an end to it, you know what I mean?

I'd always said that life wasn't fair, but trust me, it's got nothing on death.

We lived in Scottsdale until Mamie passed away. 44 years we were together. All right, so it wasn't a perfect marriage, but it's not like I cheated. "Cheat" is such an unflattering word. I just kind of fooled around a little, and believe me, it was for the noblest of reasons: to take the sexual pressure off her (though she never quite saw it that way). It's amazing how blind women can be about essentially gallant motives.

And I didn't drink all that much. I mean, how many times can one man apologize for driving the Buick through the back of the garage and into the swimming pool? And we were able to paint over all that stuff she swears I drew on the living room wall (though to this day I don't remember a thing). I still don't know how they got away with canceling our house insurance; I always paid the premiums on time. Well, most of 'em, anyway.

Anyway, I'll tell you this much: If I'd known the afterlife was just going to be a continuation of August in Arizona, I'd have lived a cleaner life. Or gotten more used to Arizona.

I always meant to move back East after I lost her, but with one thing and another I never got around to it. (Especially after Vinny and Guido told me what would happen if I left before I paid Big Solly what I owed him.)

And now, here I was, stuck on the Styx, shvitzing like a ditch digger.