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A Midge in Your Hand is Worth Two Up Your Kilt--Modern Scottish Proverbs [Secure eReader]
eBook by Stuart McLean

eBook Category: Humor/Reference
eBook Description: The Scottish language is rich in proverbs, sayings, maxims and wise aphorisms. Sadly, in the transition from the abacus to the computer, most of these have become outdated. This great little gift book thrusts these expressions into the 21st century providing millennia of wisdom in a practical modern format. It covers everything from bagpipes to whisky with a few mentions of our dear neighbours, the Sassenachs, thrown in. So whether you are Scottish, a tourist visiting Scotland, an illegal immigrant gutting fish on Shetland or have found this book abandoned on a Trans-Siberian train, you are sure to be inspired and amused by our wit and wisdom. The section on chat-up lines and insults will certainly help you, especially if you should venture into a Scottish pub or nightclub, and could just make the difference between getting a French kiss or a Glasgow kiss.

eBook Publisher: Crombie Jardine/Crombie Jardine
Fictionwise Release Date: March 2008

1 Reader Ratings:
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When ye christen the bairn ye should ken what to caa?t.
Never arrange the christening until
the paternity suit is settled.
Lang may yer lum reek.
May your energy-efficient Baxi Boiler
continue to operate without the pilot
light extinguishing unexpectedly.
Better a sma? fish than
an empty dish.
It?s better to eat well at McDonalds
than to wash dishes at the Ritz.
A bairn maun creep
afore it gangs.
A youngster must achieve its first
ASBO before it can be considered
worthy of membership to a gang.
The deil?s aye guid tae
his ain kin.
Getting a bum deal from God? Tune
in and turn on to the Devil and you
could be this week?s lottery winner.
(Note: All calls cost one soul ? mobile
phone rates may vary.)
What?s for ye will no? go by ye.
Anything that is for you will not go by
you ? except the last bus home.
A pennywecht o? love is worth a
pund o? law.
An unhappy marriage is better than
an expensive divorce.
As poor as a kirk mouse.
As poor as a Wester Hailes mouse
the day after the dole money has
been pissed against a wall.
Bairns speak i? the field what they
hear i? the ha?.
Please Miss, ma maw?s having an
affair wi? the man next door
. . . and so is ma da?.

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