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Tales From a Texas Christmas Tree Farm [Life on Santa Claus Lane Series Book 1] [MultiFormat]
eBook by Darrell Bain
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$5.98 |
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$5.08 |
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$2.99 |
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$2.54 |
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50% |
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eBook Category: Humor
eBook Description:  Every year, thousands upon thousands of families head to the country to get a real tree from a Christmas tree farm; many of them bringing along grandma, grandpa and the family pets and hardly any of them knowing what they're getting into, or what the poor farmer went through in order to get those trees ready to sell. Lost pets, lost kids, bugs, snakes in trees, and learning how to stuff big trees into little cars and dozens of hilarious contretemps all go into making this a unique book. Join Darrell and Betty Bain as they move to the country and find that Christmas tree farming is a unique, demanding, frustrating, exasperating but ultimately rewarding profession. And it's the customers who make the difference, especially the kids. A great, side-splitting laugh of a book you will enjoy reading any time of the year--and you'll never look at a Christmas tree the same way again!
eBook Publisher: SynergEbooks, Published: SynergEbooks, 2001
Fictionwise Release Date: February 2004
19 Reader Ratings:
Available eBook Formats [MultiFormat - What's this?]: eReader (PDB) [94 KB]
, ePub (EPUB) [119 KB]
, Rocket/REB1100 (RB) [63 KB]
, Portable Document Format (PDF) [175 KB]
, Palm Doc (PDB) [71 KB]
, Microsoft Reader (LIT) [115 KB]
, Franklin eBookMan (FUB) [132 KB]
, hiebook (KML) [173 KB]
, Sony Reader (LRF) [124 KB]
, iSilo (PDB) [59 KB]
, Mobipocket (PRC) [73 KB]
, Kindle Compatible (MOBI) [98 KB]
, OEBFF Format (IMP) [98 KB]
Words: 22543
Reading time: 64-90 min.
Microsoft Reader (LIT) Format: Printing DISABLED, Read-Aloud ENABLED
Portable Document Format (PDF) Format: Printing DISABLED, Read-Aloud DISABLED
All Other formats: Printing DISABLED, Read-aloud DISABLED
 
"When I first received this book, I was not particularly looking forward to the read. After all, how exciting could a book be about a tree farm? As I sat down to do my duty as a reviewer, however, I was in for a delightful surprise. Darrel Bain took me on a journey of continual giggles, as he told the tales of their Christmas Tree farm. Who would have ever thought that there could be so much adventure found there? Not I! He tells you, in a fun way, the different aspects of tree farming and I was intrigued. I thought, as you probably do, that all you had to do was plant that seedling and sit back and let nature take it's course. That my friend is far from the way it is. The author tells you of uneven rows of trees, fighting the various insects, the problems of unwelcome weather changes, and the trimming of bottom branches, so you the buyer, can fit that beautiful tree that nature grew, into your stand. Who would have ever guessed? And this is only a few of the many challenges they face. The saga continues as he relates stories of children being used to stand guard at a chosen tree, pets that were turned loose to run in the country, never to be seen again; as they made their way into the surrounding woods, that contained gators and other various wildlife. Double shudder! You receive a hardy chuckle over the story of the success of Betty's plum butter, that has made a hit among the customers and the constant answering of the same questions, about their business, year after year, after year! Perhaps a recorded message would help? If you want a joyful Holiday read, this is the one for you! It might just make you glad for the profession that you have chosen! A must read before you venture out to a Christmas Tree Farm this Holiday Season! Great job Mr. Bain!"--Shirley Johnson, (reader review)
CHAPTER ONE So Much Money; So Little WorkMy wife, Betty, and I both happened to read the same article in our newspaper, extolling the virtues of growing Christmas trees in Texas. We had just built a new home on a hundred acres about fifty miles north of Houston and the article caught our attention like a freshly hooked tuna. We were running a few cattle at the time, but we had already discovered the real meaning of the song Home On The Range: It meant that you could never go anywhere because as soon as you did, your cows were certain to get loose and eat the neighbor's garden or play tag with pickups on the county road, a no-good way to raise cattle. There were a lot more trucks in our neighborhood than we had cows. *** Whoever wrote that article should be ashamed of themselves. They made it sound as if growing Christmas trees was right up there with mattress testing as a sure-fire, lazy way to make a bunch of money. It's a cinch the author never tried it, because it sounded so simple and easy that neither of us even bothered to do any research on the subject. We simply ordered a few thousand seedlings and plunged in, visions of sugarplums stuffed with money dancing in our heads. *** In retrospect, I think there are two simple requirements for starting a Christmas tree farm: the first is a convenient hardware store (preferably one which gives easy credit) and the other is a money-making machine. The first we located, but we never have discovered where the other one lives. We suspect it resides in the bowls of the local bank though, because it always seem to have plenty of money to loan us.
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